I drive for a Portland-based taxi company that’s been driving Oregonians around since World War II, when the billionaire class first used communists and fascists to try and destroy America.
You know the taxi company I’m talking about—you’ve seen our black-and-white checkered cabs, haven’t you? We’re the company you don’t use, because you don’t actually believe in "local." Instead, you’ve chosen to be enslaved by the billionaire class and the Lyft or Uber apps that they turn on and off, depending on how they want to control your movements. Ice storm? No ride. COVID-1984 flare-up in your neighborhood? No ride. Blackouts? No ride.
Radio Cab will pick you up and not dictate when (or where) you are allowed to go. Actually, we might not pick you up, because you’re an idiot who you let the battery die on your phone, with no charger, no cash and no way to pay for your ride. Sorry!
By 2023, General Motors will no longer make cars that run on gasoline. Every car they make will be electric, connected to the internet, run by apps and the software they own (not you) and they will have total control of your movements. And, you’ll love it. Do you know how I know you’ll love it? Because, you are already their slave and loving it.
I drove my cab throughout the entirety of February’s ice storm. The company made a decision to service only our regular account customers—mostly non-profits—instead of all you Uber or Lyft supplicants, begging for rides because your billionaire masters wouldn’t turn their apps on. There will be more about your willing slavery and your upcoming life of hell, as this here tale unfolds.
So, I’m driving, I get a call and I see the lady, my fare in taxi parlance, waiting at the end of her frozen driveway. And, here I come, spinning and slipping down the street. The thirtysomething, longtime Radio customer, whom I none-the-less had never met, gets inside. She’s looking to go to the store and back. Near the end of the pleasant and snowy ride, almost back at her house, she says, "What do you think about all of all this COVID stuff?" And, I’m thinking, "What the hell? We’re almost back at her house." So, fuck it—I just unloaded and answered her question as honestly as I could in the short amount of time we have left together.
"I think it’s a mostly benign, genetically-engineered virus, designed to kill off mostly old and already sick people, that has been (and is still being) released worldwide by Rockefeller- type billionaires, along with the new Big Tech billionaires, in order to reduce the global human population, while simultaneously enslaving the survivors further as they replace most of us with robots, all in an attempt to create their version of Utopia."
I look in the rear view mirror at the woman and she’s just sitting there, thinking. I’m waiting and waiting for a reaction (mostly for shits and giggles, because I don’t give a fuck what she or any of you think about my truth-bomb). Does she think I’ve lost my mind? Who cares! Most of you have already lost your minds, so at the very least, touché motherfuckers!
Then, finally, calmly and thoughtfully, she says, "Huh. I’ve never thought about it like that before."
And, I’m still watching, waiting and smiling. And, she’s all there, thinking and considering.
So, I say, "What about you? What do you think about all this COVID stuff?"
Do you know what she says? Get this shit! Wrap your little pea-brained minds around this shit!!! She says, "I don’t think the virus exists."
Ha ha ha! Can you fucking believe it? She doesn’t think the virus even exists! Ha ha! And, I’m thinking to myself, ‘Well, fuck! She’s probably right! Nobody seems to know what the fuck is going on with anything anymore, so why the fuck not? The virus doesn’t exist! That sounds just about god-damned perfect actually! Ha ha ha.."
I chuckle and laugh out loud. Then, I ask, "Why do you think the virus doesn’t exist?" And, I’m not mocking her, because for all I know she’s goddamned right. So, what does she say? She tells me both of her sisters are nurses and that the hospital administrators have been telling them since day one to mark as much as possible as COVID. Hey, why the fuck not? 93-year old died of a stroke? Nope, COVID! A loved one finally died of Leukemia? Nope, COVID! Third heart attack get him? Nope, he tested positive for COVID, so mark it COVID! If a key point of all of this is the shutdown and the destruction of our lives (and the economy) as we knew it, in order to usher in the new tech-based billionaires’ utopia, why the fuck not?
She gets out and I drive on, off to pick up the next victim of the billionaires’ utopian agenda. Because, like it or not, we’re all being victimized by them. And, until more of us wake the fuck up and talk about it, outing the totalitarian fascistic scum running this dystopian hell, we will continue to be victimized. Once you speak up, you are no longer letting yourself be a victim. We all know that, so let’s stop being victims, okay?
I get a call originating downtown and head on in. At one point, the only drivable portion of road was a new bike lane that nobody ever uses, because the new bike lanes were never meant for bikes—they are meant for robo-taxis and robo-deliveries. My hunch is that former City Commissioner Steve Novick, former Mayor Charlie Hales and most of the others know about this bike lane scam, but they are happily on their knees for the tech billionaires, with jizz dribbling down their greedy, narcissist chins. They don’t give a shit about you—you’re just someone they look in the eye and lie to every four years, in order to get your vote, so they can keep sucking tech cock and screwing you over.
So, I’m driving down the bike lane that isn’t really a bike lane and a PSA with Anthony Facui’s voice comes on the radio. Anthony fucking Fauci! The master criminal himself!!! The only person on earth who is more of an attention whore than Donald Trump. But, unlike Trump, Fauci is a cold and calculated killer. I invite you to read an article from Newsweek, dated April 2020, detailing how Fauci wanted Obama to sign off on him doing gain-of-function research stateside. What was the research? Fauci wanted to figure out how to get bat Coronavirus to effectively transmit to humans! Ha ha ha!!! That’s right, you pea-brained motherfuckers, you read it correctly. But, Obama said "Nope, you ain’t doing that shit here." So, what did psychopathic serial killer Fauci do? He took the $3,000,000 of C.D.C./W.H.O./U.N./Rockefeller money and moved the project to a bio weapons lab in Wuhan, China Bet you didn’t see that one coming! It couldn’t be more in our faces, people.
I finally reach empty, graffiti-covered, disgusting downtown Portland and I’m driving past all the boarded-up windows and snow-covered tents with bat-shit crazy junkies huddled in sleeping bags inside, with needles hanging from their arms and "KILL ALL COPS," "FUCK12" and "ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS" spraypainted all over the place. I’m waiting and waiting for these idiots, BLM’ers, Antifa fascists and the pure narcissist scum in City Hall to do the math and realize that SPEWING HATE AT COPS + REDUCING COP BUDGETS = MORE DEAD BLACK KIDS.
But, they won’t do the math, because then they will be forced to acknowledge that their arrogant and childish violence, combined with their acceptance and promotion of violence, has the exact opposite effect on the world than that which they intend. And, if they did the math and realized the truth, they might feel kinda dumb (and nobody likes to feel dumb). So, we’ll just keep killing, instead. I know, I know....some of you are already trying to find me on social media, so you can scream and cry and get me canceled. Try as you might, you woke fucks can’t cancel me, because I don’t exist in cancelable form. So, why don’t you fuck off and engage an actual enemy instead?
The taxi customer downtown was a no-show— a "person in crisis" getting a paid-for ride to a local psych ward. So, while they were apparently still walking crazily around dead, dying and now frozen downtown Portland, I decide to call it a day and go to what has been by far the best club in Portland during this contrived, anti-scientific shutdown scam: a strip club named Desire. The owner follows all of the unscientific rules (so Governor Brown-shirt’s gestapo doesn’t fine him) and has created a super fun scene on the outdoor patio, complete with a small, portable stage and several blasting jet heaters.
And, now, I’m hanging with one of the most beautiful women I have ever met, a Jamaican woman hip to the COVID-1984 scam. Common ground! I have somewhere to go with this woman and that somewhere is that place we used to call "reality." And, as she leans into me and I breathe her in, as I run my hands down her warm, smooth arms—as she shows me a video of an amazing dinner she cooked the other night, as I start massaging her calves and her feet—I take in a deep breath, look into her eyes and think to myself how lucky I am to be alive.
Andy Norris is a writer and filmmaker living in the Pacific Northwest. His film about strippers in Portland, The Dancer Diaries, was woked off Prime and is now available on Vimeo OnDemand (cheap to rent/buy), as well as Tubi TV (free with ads).
