Portland is the city of food. Sure, it has numerous other nicknames I don't really need to repeat to those of you who have lived here long enough, but "City of Food" should really be one of them. Out of all the cities in the Pacific Northwest, Portland really takes the cake with the food we offer. We were once listed on a top 50 list for best places to get pizza, and I believe we came close to New York. I've had pizza from NY, and I can say I just didn't get the hype. Probably because a lot of people from NY live in Portland and give me the same product. It's awesome. The level of selection we have here is insane.
This is why I feel it's always a good idea to look around and see about places you may not have gone to yet...or maybe places you've stopped going to for whatever reason. I thought I'd go through some of the places I've been bragging about to people for a while now but never put them to paper. I don't usually advertise for places unless they have a product not offered elsewhere or there is something that really sticks out. So, with that in mind, let's take a visit…
On northeast Broadway, there is a huge building with a wrap-around sign that says “Chen’s Dynasty” in yellow letters. Step foot in here, and you're greeted by the most polite, smiling human you've ever come across. She seats you at your booth, and if you take a while to decide what you want on the menu, she will come over and delicately point out what she thinks is the best deal that day. I recommend eating the orange chicken and egg rolls since they're one of the only places in Portland that knows what an eggroll is (it's literally just a deep-fried Chinese version of a burrito, filled with delicious green veggies or sometimes meat).
I'm assuming some of you have had what this place offers. Either way, I'm talking about it. You probably don't go there enough. Also, in northeast Portland. The sandwiches here are amazing, stuffed to the brim, and a way better deal than any of those "Subway inside Wally World" sandwiches. I recommend just getting the Taste Tickler to start. And I mean…Taste Tickler, doesn’t that name just tickle your fancy?
So yeah, Hong Phat. The local Asian grocer just opened a new spot last year where that gross Walmart used to be on Southeast 82nd. There's a hot deli where the Subway spot used to be in the store. They offer this pork belly sandwich and fruit drink for less than 8 bucks. I think last I checked a few weeks ago, it was like $6. Anyway, delicious. They also have pretty decent pork buns there. Go check it out, the line is usually not that bad.
Okay, so a few weeks back, it was "Wiener Week," a new food week invented by a local weekly (that's oddly not published weekly anymore). Some restaurants love it; most industry folks hate it; anyway, I went to the Hungry Tiger at around midnight because I was drinking and wanted another wiener. Knowing they were vegan, I was still intrigued. I'm picky about my veggie dogs. They were corndogs and damn delicious. The corn batter was sweet and crunchy, and their sauces were tasty AF. You get two corndogs for 11 bucks on a normal day. Worth it. You don't have to be vegan to appreciate these tasty treats. The bartenders here are also super awesome, and it's worth going just for the "atmosphere" because of its inclusivity and “homey” feeling. No one’s gonna judge you for getting corndog sauce on your face. They understand.
This guy, Rhett, makes the one and only chimney cake here in Portland and, I think, in Oregon. A chimney cake is pretty much a broiled, flaky croissant cone that can be either sweet or savory and is filled with whatever your dreams can imagine. Horchata? Berries? Ice cream? Fried chicken? Hot dogs? Nutella? What do you want? What can you imagine filling this cone with? Tell Rhett, look at his menu, and let your dreams become reality. A product so unique that it must be seen and enjoyed in person to be appreciated. Hurry, though; this guy's location is possibly going to change due to circumstances out of his and the other food cart vendors' control. You can find the big, silver food trailer just across the street from the Sandy Jug. Yeah, that Sandy Jug.
Another Northeast Portland thing (if you haven't noticed, I kind of stick to the Eastside as the beast side). Want fried chicken? Want a no-nonsense bartender who's pretty great, makes sure your order is heard by the kitchen and gets you a decent drink at a reasonable price? Go here. This building is nothing to brag about. The inside might remind you of the inside of a 1996 Denny's, but the product—the chicken—is what you're here for. And also their jojos. Damn right, they have perfectly crisped jojos. Get you some of those and a couple of pieces of crunchy chicken, and you'll never question the looks of a place again.
Pinky's is a whiskey bar with pizza. Not vice versa. However, both products are equal in quality. Pinky's also has a bartender who knows everything you would never need and not need to know about whiskey—where it came from, what inspired them to make specific whiskey drinks, and maybe give you a story or two about their days as a clown. The owner is funny as hell, and the relationship they have with their bartender is something worth hanging out for. It's kind of like watching a "fairly-odd-couple-but-not-actually-a-couple" hang out, make drinks and pizza, and shit-talk each other sometimes. Go for the whiskey, and eat a piece of (or the whole) pizza while you're there.
All right, so I have given you guys a good start to some very underrated food places here in Portland. Pinky's isn't really underrated, but it's also the only pizza place I felt like mentioning because it offers a whole experience. Dinner, whiskey, and sometimes a show behind the bar…or trivia, one of those nights I always forget about. They could all use your business and are worth the bus ride or drive over. Especially that chimney cake place. Seriously, I can't get enough of it. Make note that you may be waiting around for the products here to be made, but quality should never be rushed.
Some honorable mentions that no longer exist but would have if things had turned out differently: Big-Ass Sandwiches, Reo's Ribs, Jim & Patty's, Foster Burger, and American Dream Pizza. Listing more would just be sad. Either way, visit the places I’ve listed above so that they don’t become “dead memories." (sigh…social media, old folks…)
Side note: if you just type in "Taste Tickler" without also adding "Portland" to a search, you will get a completely different set of search results…
Hannah One Cup can be found eating…like…two chimney cakes, or at least ordering two, and lying to herself about probably only eating one. That's just after she finished wiping the hot dog sauce from her face and slurping down her whiskey. You can find her at one of these places at least once a week. So come visit, get an autograph, and eat some food that you aren't getting enough of. Bon appétit Portland foodie twerps. Go get some good food, and stop acting like the building needs to be in a hip neighborhood to visit. The best gems are always hidden.
