You may recall that I started a series on philosophy for bouncers several months back. You may also recall that I left that series hanging, never having gotten around to part 3, in which I intended to cover the philosophy of Aristotle. Well, that loose end has left me with an itch in my brain, in desperate need of scratching...like an unresolved melody or those cell phone game ads where the person playing fails miserably at a game that you'd clearly have beaten. Which reminds me, I need to go through my phone and delete a bunch of games I’ve never played. Okay, lest I allow myself to get further off track, let's dive into some Aristotle.
“Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way.” Also: “Quality is not an act; it is a habit.” As the old joke goes, how do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice! Go ahead and take a moment to hear the imaginary rimshot for that absolute groaner of a joke. Want a little consistency in your customers' behavior? Then, you need to show some consistency in enforcing rules to give them a clear picture of what behaviors are acceptable and which are not. Want to catch some fake IDs and keep the underage kids out of your club? Be consistent about checking IDs and paying attention to the details. Want to keep weapons out of the club? Be consistent with pat downs. I could keep going, but you get the point: consistently run things the way you want them to run.
“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, desire." If you read volume two of this series several months back, you might recall that Plato had a similar but much shorter list: desire, emotion, and knowledge. Aristotle more than doubled Plato's list with the addition of chance, nature, compulsion, and habit. Whichever list you choose to follow, the point is the same. The ability to figure out the causes behind a person’s actions is a serious asset when working security. Getting to the bottom of a behavior can help formulate a more effective approach to address those actions.
“A friend to all is a friend to none.” Everybody is your best friend, and nobody is your best friend. That’s my approach to the job. The idea is simple. Treat everyone like they’re your best friend; that’s called customer service. Treat no one like they’re your best friend; that’s called accountability. Aristotle is speaking here about the latter. It’s not humanly possible to be friendly with everyone all the time. Sometimes, it becomes impossible not to take sides. I mean, is anybody out there still a fan of both Kendrick and Drake at this point? Hell, is anyone out there still a fan of Drake at this point? Sadly, people do wrong by others. Sadder still, some either can’t or won’t bring themselves to right their wrongs or correct unacceptable behaviors. Overinflated ego, underdeveloped sense of humility, hell, and feelings of shame are all things that can cause a person to stick to their guns, even when they’re in the wrong. On the job, you have to deal with that, even if the one in the wrong is one of your friends.
While we’re on the subject of friends…
"My best friend is the man who, in wishing me well, wishes it for my sake." The bouncer gig can be a lot of fun, and I've made some really good friends along the way, but it also tends to put you face-to-face with a lot of phony-ass people with ulterior motives. If you like expanding your vocabulary like I do, the word for these people is “sycophants.” They’ll suck up to you for various reasons; maybe they’re hoping you’ll get them in for free, or maybe they're hoping they can get away with shitty behavior if they're friends with security. Take care to recognize these people for the parasites they are and deal with them accordingly.
“Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.” Remember the scene in Road House, where Dalton explains to the staff of the Double Deuce that being called a cocksucker isn't personal but rather a verbal attempt to get under their skin? People will lash out in an attempt to—as Dalton put it—"elicit a prescribed response." They'll talk whatever shit their puny little minds can muster to try to punish you for enforcing the rules. People love to talk about money in this context. They seem to think bouncers are making minimum wage for some reason. My age seems to come up a lot more lately as well. 40-year-old bouncer, they love to say, as though security work is only a valid profession through your thirties. People like that fail to understand something both Dalton and Aristotle clearly understood. There’s no point in letting a petulant toddler of a customer bait you with words.
“Character may also be called the most effective means of persuasion.” Not everything needs to escalate to the point of physical altercation. Anyone who knows me well knows I’m a big proponent of de-escalation. What is de-escalation, really, but an exercise in persuasion? Rather than letting someone goad you into conflict, try putting that winning personality of yours to good use and de-escalate!
“The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.” I’ve certainly made my share of mistakes along the way. Haven’t you? Don’t lie. Mistakes are how we learn and grow. Own your mistakes, do what you can to make things right, look for the lessons to be learned, and earnestly try to do it better next time. That’s not just how to become a better bouncer, it’s how to become a better person.
Well, that's a wrap on Aristotle, so consider that pesky brain itch of mine scratched! If you're enjoying this philosophy series and you're just not ready for it to end, take heart, my friend. I think I'm going to keep it going every now and again, moving into the realm of more modern philosophers like Locke, Hobbes, Bentham, Kant, Nietzsche, and Camus. Until then, keep on using that brain of yours. Lord knows we need it now more than ever!
Nate Hazen is a bouncer, writer, and occasional student of philosophy. Come to X Exotic Lounge and Dixie Tavern to talk to him about your favorite philosopher. Also, check out his strip club stand-up comedy night at X Exotic Lounge on the first Wednesday of every month.
