I firmly believe that history repeats itself on a never-ending loop. Attempting to find the one and only reason behind this would be next to—but not completely—impossible. We shouldn’t be doomed to repeat what our ancestors went through, or what we ourselves went through in the last five years. That’s just stupid, and although not everything is repeated on purpose, repeating the same things expecting different results to occur is literally insane. What may help us all is to learn about what actually happened in the past, why it happened, and how we can avoid making that thing happen—or at least do what we can to not assist.
I thought I would be your history teacher for this month and give you some events that took place in November of years past. None of these are meant to provide you with a lesson of any kind, just some food for thought. Knowledge is power, as they say.
1512 – Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel ceiling is revealed. Did you know that ol’ Michel hated painting the ceiling so much that he wrote a poem about how much he hated it? For four years, this man had to paint a church ceiling, using scaffolding he designed. And for four years he hated it. He once said he “grew a goiter” due to the strain of the work.
1947 – Howard Hughes’ ‘Spruce Goose’ took off on its one and only flight. It flew one mile, 70 whole feet above water. All for the low, low cost of roughly 25 million dollars. Howard Hughes was known to go a little big with things; as a director, he was notoriously overbudget and obsessed with censorship. This man also purchased a resort in Las Vegas after he was told to leave its penthouse. “Take that Desert Inn! Ha!” or something.
1985 – Windows 1.0 was introduced! Huzza! I’m not old enough to have used this version of Windows, and I’m okay with that, because I’ve lived through so many ups and downs with Microsoft updates that I’d probably be using a Mac by now if I had to go through this first stage. But gag me with a spoon if that day ever actually comes. You can actually download Windows 1.0 from archive.org, if you wanted to for some reason. I would like to know what that reason is, unless it’s to play some game they had on it…called Reversi. WTF is Reversi? Don’t tell me…I don’t really wanna know.
1978 – Jonestown Massacre happens. Nothing about this is actually funny or entertaining, but I put it in here as a reminder (and the only one of these with a possible “lesson”) not to drink the Kool-Aid just because someone tells you to. It might be poison, and you might not have a good time. Or go ahead and always drink the Kool-Aid and prove Darwinism exists. Do it because I told you to.
1887 – Nellie Bly started her trip around the world. It was much like Jules Verne’s “Around the World in 80 Days,” but instead, Nellie made it in 72. She had apparently packed only the bare essentials, so chances are she looked pretty rough after 72 straight days of travel with only toilet paper, underwear, and a change of clothes. I’d say after a week, I’d probably just pick a new home to live in and call it a day, wherever I had landed—so long, family. I have a new home and life now. Fare thee well. Ran out of TP early; it did not last as long as I’d imagined LOL. Money ran out. So, good day! I probably won’t see you again because it’s 1887, but thanks for all the fish.
2022 – The world population reached 8 billion people. Why and how? Both good questions that shall probably never be answered except by aliens when they come to Earth for some other unknown reason, and discover a Twinkie wrapper, a condom with a tiny hole apparently cut in it, an iPad loaded with useless games, and one book that came with the thing, which was never read.
So that’s that. Brief historical events from a month that’s littered with fat, flightless birds, and people, and some humans you may or may not be loosely related to, trying to get ahold of you and force you to eat an early dinner with them. I hope you’ve found some of these facts to be worth a second of your time to look into. You are our future! And as a reader of this fine publication, you’ve been gifted some easily accessible public knowledge about a month you’re about to live through again, so you’re already better prepared to not mess it up than most!
Hannah One Cup is currently researching past events and writing several down, so that she does not repeat them. Hopefully she doesn’t, because the past events she’s looking over are her own, and her pictures are proof that each year she hasn’t learned much of anything. You can find her on Facebook by her name, on TikTok at @thursdaynight_depression, or by email at hannahbird6@gmail.com (she likes penpals), and carrier pigeons know where she lives (if all else fails)…
