Erotic City

Spring is here! Time to put on a tank top, shorts and sandals, head to the beach and soak in some of that forty-five degree heat. Cuddle up under a tree, while wearing a hoodie and shivering, trying to read a book. Go for long walks in the wind, or perhaps, have a nice camping trip with chattering teeth and an icy drive. Okay, who are we fooling? It won’t be nice out for months. But, we can pretend, right? Keeping in mind Oregon women get naked all year round, even the coldest of March nights won’t keep the strip clubs from popping off.

Hey, You...Get Naked!

Amateur nights are underrated as hell. Everyone in Portland wants to be a stripper (well, anyone with goals and aspirations), but no one knows how to get into it. Sure, you can audition for pretty much any club listed in this magazine, but that doesn’t mean you have a chance in hell of actually getting the gig. Maybe you have a stripper pole in your apartment. Perhaps, you have seen Showgirls on acid enough times to be like, "I can do this." Well, the best way around the whole "have talent, show up on time and impress the boss" hoop is to hit up your local amateur night. If you suck, who cares? And, if you kill it, well, you may have a brand new career waiting on you!

Columbia Strip holds an amateur night every Sunday. You can RSVP by calling the club at (503) 289-1351, to let them know you’re interested in performing. Or, if you’re out and about on Monday nights, Spearmint Rhino hosts an amateur night, first Monday of the month, with a $300 prize up for grabs! Hell, that’s more than you may make on a Monday night working a regular club, as a new girl. Bring your friends and promote, as many of these amateur night contests are entirely dependent on the crowd. But, still, remember to impress the club staff, DJ, other dancers and regulars. I got my gig as a DJ, because someone else needed a weekend fill-in. A decade or so later, and here I am, editor of Exotic. Just don’t forget to keep your phones in your pockets (same goes for your friends) and remember, even though you may be just competing in an amateur night, you’re still on the turf of other dancers—be sure to show respect where respect is due.

Out & About

I don’t spend enough time in this column talking about the amazing shit going on in the clubs these days. Let’s change that. Down here, in my hometown, Salem, Cheetahs is hosting shower shows every Friday and Saturday night. Not only is Cheetahs located within two right turns and a few blocks of the freeway (just in case you don’t want to spend too much time in Salem), but it’s also an 18-andover club, which means it can be your first strip club experience! Back when it was Scores (in, like, 1998), I received my first lap dance there, as well as my first reminder to tip the dancers and my first Dr. Pepper on the rocks. Good times. Just a few blocks up, Stars Salem (also, located directly next to the freeway) is a great destination as well, with plenty of events. Finally, on the way out of town (and back to Portland), swing by The Firehouse to catch "library girl" Kendra Sunderland, of Oregon State University fame (she appears at The Firehouse on Thursday, March 22nd, with more appearances at Portland’s Sunset Strip on the 23rd and 24th). Lastly, be sure to check out the Sugar Shack (formerly Presley’s) and their newly remodeled patio, smoking area and outdoor stage. Oregon is not quite ready for the sunny season at time of publication (it’s currently snowing in the Willamette Valley), but the second the sun comes out, there is nothing better than an outdoor stage (R.I.P. Safari Club and their hot tub).

Up in Portland, Dv8 is giving props to those who slang drinks. Are you an OLCC-cardholding, service-industry affliate? Well, Dv8 has you covered every Sunday through Thursday, from midnight until closing. The specials are too good to mention here, so go ahead and see for yourself what they have to offer.

Lastly, St. Paddy’s Day is here. Be sure to grab a Lyft, Uber or other form of ride, before heading out to Cabaret, Mystic or Stars Cabaret for St. Paddy’s Day parties and strippers! Personally, I plan on spending this year’s holiday cuddled up next to a bong, but I also plan on coming to my senses as soon as the sun sets, getting out and reminding everyone that I’m Irish—just for free drinks and sex with chicks who think fucking Irish guys is cool (don’t worry, honey, they don’t exist).

Stripping Out Loud Trading Cards

A photographer named Jason Savage hit us up, with information about a project he is taking part in. Stripping Out Loud Trading Cards will feature some of the most well-known and Portland-famous strippers around, and the project will benefit WISER (Women Inspiring Sexual Education & Revolution), Portland SlutWalk and a sex-positive theater group called Dance Naked Productions. Search for the project on Kickstarter and Facebook, because supporting local ventures is always a good idea. We at Exotic aren’t shameless shills of all things adult, but whenever I hear about a local trying to get our fine women on the map, I can’t help but give the source some support. Props to Jason Savage for doing his thing and here’s hoping I can cop some of those cool-ass trading cards soon.

4th Annual Miss T&A Pageant

If there’s one thing DJ Dick Hennessy is famous for, it’s kick-ass contests. This month, the Miss T&A Pageant will take over the town, with a five-round rotation of events (see dates and times below). What does T&A stand for? Trucks and Automobiles? T-Pain and Auto-Tune? You’ll just have to show up to find out. But, one thing’s for sure, Hennessy knows tits and ass...oh, yeah. That’s it.