Why Your Bar Needs A DJ

The DJ is, in my opinion, one of the most under-appreciated people working in the industry. The gig rarely pays well—if at all. You have to promote, lug your records all over town, figure out how to set up (fingers crossed the bar has all the correct equipment and it works), then deal with drunks asking for requests (that are nowhere near the realm of the carefully selected program you brought). "No, Lindsay, I actually can’t play ‘Pony’ for you, even though it’s your birthday. I hope you can enjoy the selection I brought from my personal collection that I’ve been amassing my entire life, though."

DJs do what they do, because they love music— no other reason. A good DJ will read the environment, asses the crowd and select songs accordingly. They will blend songs into smooth transitions, that make an enjoyable backdrop for people to hear while getting a drink, or will facilitate dancing and high-energy moments when the time is right. The DJ is overlooked by the average bar patron— mostly because every drunk person thinks they know what song or music should be playing. They are wrong.

If you’ve ever sat in a bar with an internet-style jukebox, you probably noticed that you didn’t have a good time there. What I mean is, even if you weren’t paying attention to what was being played, I assure you the cacophony of random music blaring out at random times and cutting over the house music creeped into your subconscious and annoyed the shit out of you. It isn’t an enjoyable time to hear "No Scrubs," sandwiched between Black Sabbath and Taylor Swift. No one can relax after hearing Beyoncé three times in a row, followed by System Of A Down and then The Bloodhound Gang. Sometimes, people purposely put on "bad" music to annoy their friends or to troll the bar on their way out, so that everyone is stuck listening to a solid hour of Nickleback. This is what happens when the music is left up to the people—the drunk people. They think they know what they want to hear, but they actually don’t. Also, if shitty music is playing, patrons might actually get up and leave. That means a bar is literally putting their business and livelihood in the hands of three-long-islands-deep Chad and Tiffany. Those jukeboxes should be banned. They help NO ONE.

Of course, you could have no jukebox and no DJ. Some bartenders select the music they play carefully. Let’s be honest, here—most don’t. It could be a quiet Sunday night, their bar is filled with couples talking, single folks having a quiet drink, mellow vibe and they’ll have death metal screeching at top-volume. Or, it’ll be a rocking Friday night with folks looking to party and they’ll have sad folk music playing. Sometimes, it’s not even deliberate. A bartender’s job is to serve drinks. The last thing they’re thinking about is the music. Often times, they’ll put anything on and forget about it. Everyone needs a drink, dishes need to stay washed and it’s the last thing on their mind, that the same album has played over and over for the last four hours.

Here’s where the DJ has their place: nothing is more relieving to a bartender than not having to worry about the fucking music for a certain amount of time. Countless times, drunk John will interrupt a bartender in the middle of a slammed service and ask them to play a song, for whatever reason. That means if I were to do that, I would have to make everyone wait longer for a drink, as I go over and search your song, play it, then find something else to put on after your song is over. Then, because I did it for you, I’ll have to do it for anyone else who asks, at any time. Fuck making drinks and keeping the bar clean, now I’m just playing songs—that is NOT what I’m paid for. If I tell you I don’t play requests or songs for anyone, then I’m met with an angry patron who usually says I lost my tip because of it. When the DJ is present, it alleviates all of this from my plate. Blessed, blessed DJ... thank you. I need to get booze in cups.

There are bad DJs out there, mind you— pretentious, not reading the room right, entitled, difficult to work with, don’t transition between songs well, don’t promote or ask for way too much money. I’ve had a DJ show up and play "Like A Bridge Over Troubled Waters" on a roaring Saturday night—a guy who wanted $300, a bar tab and a free meal, to literally play the same 15 records in a row— that’s way more than I was making and I’m doing the hard work. Those DJs don’t tend to last long. Sometimes, a bad DJ is worse than an internet jukebox. The right DJ can create an environment, start a party and bring actual business into your bar. The really good DJs even have a social media presence and a following. The professional DJ puts up with a lot—they have drunk assholes yelling requests at them, jerks bumping into their equipment and possibly spilling beers on it, not getting tipped and people feeling the need to grab at their records. Sometimes, DJs play their records for free, or just for some free drinks. They do it because they love the music and want to share it. Very little respect is given to that.

Here’s to the DJ and what they do. Thank you, for taking control of the auditory portion of an environment, which is huge—as integral as good lighting is in a bar, the music is of equal importance. Thank you, for not letting the people decide the music, for that power is too great for the masses. They think they want to hear "Macarena" three times in a row, but we all know that they absolutely do not. Thank you, for lugging your beautifully cultivated vinyl all the way to your destination (and, all the way back). Thank you, for working practically for free, to share your music with us. Some of us, working behind a bar night after night, couldn’t do it without you.

TIP YOUR DJ