Erotic City

Man, is November problematic...we’ve got elections, the whole indigenous-people-versus- Thanksgiving thing and...oh, I’m sorry. Did I say "man" at the beginning of this column? I’m sorry. Let’s start over. Okay, you people, so this month we...wait, back up. Ahem. LOYAL READERS, may I present to you the least controversial Thanksgiving-related issue of Exotic we’ve ever presented...later. This one? Well, it deals lots of fun stuff. Jonas explores the difference between sex with Muslims and Jews. Wombstretcha discusses how to carry over your Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. We’ve got a column from a die-hard liberal who is voting Republican this year. We’ve even got a full page dedicated to evaluating the best breasts on this side of the country. Dearest readers, let Exotic be your escape from the alt-whatever is dominating your social media newsfeed. But, first, to the news!

Deep Within The Belly Of Miss Exotic Oregon

Okay, I made that sound a bit dramatic, but that’s my style. We are currently in the mid-rounds of Oregon’s longest-running exotic dancer contest. It’s like Polerotica, plus Ink ‘N’ Pink combined, times ten, to the power of a naked lady, multiplied by fantastic showmanship—and this is not an exaggeration. If you’re reading this, flip to page 29 (or, just check the Spotlight section at the end of this column) for upcoming qualifier rounds. No, it’s currently not too late to enter, if you haven’t already (and, you’re looking at this early in the month). But, yes, it might be too late, by the time you late-comers actually read this. So, the best move is to just act now, before your chance at cash, prizes and a cover shoot for January’s Exotic goes up in smoke.

Rest In Peace To Sex Worker Advocate And Industry Mogul Dennis Hof

Headlines these days are garbage. If you’ve had the misfortune of reading about how a, quote, "dead pimp won the election in Nevada," chances are, you’re looking at partisan clickbait. The truth is, a beloved and well-respected member of the legal, tax-paying and upstanding sex industry was taken from us last month. Because Bunny Ranch owner and legal sex pioneer, Dennis Hof, passed away after the ballots went out, there is a chance that his name will be reported as the initial winner of a Nevada election, but then, his name will be discarded, before Nevada hands the Nevada State Assembly District 36 Representative (sounds boring) vote to whoever lands second place. As far as the term "pimp," a pimp is someone who exploits women off of the street, abiding by their own laws, own ethics and own moral standards—many of which aren’t exactly up to par in terms of being legal and safe. Modern brothels, on the other hand, are clean, legal and safe—for both the customers and the employees. Without people like Dennis Hof, actual pimps would be in greater number. Yes, I know it’s campaign season and it seems that anyone who votes right of Stalin will be targeted, but the man is dead and I think we could, ya know, show some respect?

Nevada is an odd place—in Vegas, you’re allowed to gamble away your savings in minutes flat, before taking shots of booze on the sidewalk, but legal prostitution does not exist until you’re outside of the city limits. However, once you reach the outskirts, Nevada is home to some of the safest environments for sex workers in our country. Plus, they’re good for the community— from having The Bunny Ranch offer free services to troops returning from duty, to speaking on university campuses and even extending an olive branch to naysayer talk show hosts, such as Oprah and Dr. Phil, Dennis Hof was a visible advocate for the sex industry. Hof was President of The Nevada Brothel Owners’ Association, as well as a lobbyist for the group. Again noting his public presence, Hof was historically open and unapologetic about his owning a chain of brothels. With a stigma surrounding our industry still present (it’s the current year, folks), folks like Hof are crucial. And, with Hof no longer with us, that means we have one less person speaking up for our rights.

Hof died in Crystal Nevada, at The Love Ranch, peacefully in his sleep at the age of 72. Of note, he celebrated his birthday two days earlier, so it is bittersweet to know that a celebration of Hof’s life occurred only a few dozen hours before he left this planet. Godspeed, Dennis Hof— next month, Exotic will feature a full article regarding your life, your accomplishments and some actual facts to clarify what happened (and, still may happen) with the election.

Big Boss Aaron Ross Goes Viral

I recently had the pleasure of catching up with Aaron Ross, Portland’s own "King Of Late Night" and a staple of the stripper-adjacent community. The latest project to be birthed from Ed Forman creator and all-around-dope comedian Ross, is a You- Tube show called Training Wheels. I was sent some screeners and goddamn—I enjoyed it! Plus, I’m sick of comedy...so very, very sick of Portland comedy. So, Training Wheels gets the Exotic seal of approval. Plus, it stars a ton of strippers. Here’s what Ed...excuse me, Aaron had to say:

Exotic: Training Wheels is a show about putting together a talk show, starring Portland’s own talk show favorite. Where did the idea of Talkshowception originate? Is this a "prequel" to all things Aaron Ross?

Aaron Ross: "’Talkshowception,’ I like that! Yes, Training Wheels is a comedy show about creating a comedy show—a sitcom about creating a D.I.Y., late-night talk show. But, the show’s origins are actually rooted in heartbreak. So, the pilot episode showcases a painful breakup and the question, ‘Can we keep doing this?’ As in, performing for peanuts, partying until the sun comes up, chasing the dream while lacking the ability to maintain relationships, paying bills, moving out of mom’s house or learning how to ride a bicycle (the latter two are true of Ross’s costar, Jordan Paladino). And, the answer was, ‘yes.’ The show reflects that time in your life, when you know exactly what you want to do with it, but you don’t know how to do it. "

Exotic: So, where does Ed Forman fit into this whole thing? Are you two still on speaking terms?

Aaron Ross: "Ed Forman, my boozy, libidinous, polyester-clad, alter ego, has been trapped under a pile of scantily clad strippers for the past few years, with little desire to escape. However, he did make an appearance in my one-man show, "Al Gore Memorial High School," earlier this year and is ready to EDspire, EDucate and EDtertain once again, now that we’ve both relocated to Ross Angeles."

Exotic: While many of the stars and cameos of Training Wheels are Portland strippers and/or celebrities from the area, who plays your dad?

Aaron Ross: "The actor who (very believably) plays my dad is local actor, Kevin Martin. While neither a stripper nor celebrity, Kevin created a really strong character that personifies the type of father who is supportive of their performer child, but doesn’t fully understand their choices to be a struggling artist."

Exotic: Bouncing from the above, how much of Training Wheels is based in reality and how much has been re-written for fictional purposes?

Aaron Ross: "Much of Training Wheels is based in reality. A decade of creating a live, late-night talk show in the Rose City gave us a lot of fodder. We’ve actually had rockstars freak out on our live show and smash their equipment, we’ve chugged beers off 100-foot zip-lines (and out of phallic bongs), I’ve hosted many oddball strip club contests and have had dancers make it rain on the local weatherman. Creating Training Wheels has also inspired real firsts that were caught on film, like in Training Wheels: Episode 2, when I really try to teach my co-star Jordan to ride a bicycle (and, he failed) or when Jordan created a BDSM sex tape and got dominated in Training Wheels: Episode 6."

Exotic: The musical score contains some hidden gems—was the song about the hardware store written exclusively for the show? I particularly enjoyed the "royalty-free mumble" version of "You’re [The Best (Around)]" or whatever it was called.

Aaron Ross: " ‘The Hardware Store Is A Metaphor’ was written exclusively for the show, as was ‘Club In The Club,’ ‘Skully Rap’ and the mumbled/alt-lyric version of ‘You’re The Best In Town.’ Many of these songs are tributes to the Team America gag of using music that describes exactly what’s going on in a scene. We always found that added some silly, stupid, extra levels to the comedy, if you’re paying attention. Also, one of Training Wheels’ hallmarks is that each episode features a local musician who scored a scene in it, too— another fun, hidden gem."

Exotic: Where does the show go from here? When will the training wheels come off? Have any big studios seen the potential ye, or will they be kicking themselves for not investing while you’re at the one-dollar- Bitcoin stage of development?

Aaron Ross: "In my personal life, the Training Wheels have been coming off for years—the creation of the show itself and moving to LA reflect that. But, they’ll never truly come off, because that’s what being a performer is all about—you live in a perpetual state of arrested development, it’s the gift and the curse. As for the idea of more Training Wheels, the ten episodes being self-released on YouTube this year encompass the full arc that we wanted to showcase. Having said that, we are open to doing more IF a company or investor want to throw us a few Bitcoins, shekels or drink tickets that have any cash value. If you watch the thirty-minute finale, you’ll get that feeling during the emotional cliff- hanger, which ALSO features the longest ‘69’ joke in history. That’s Training Wheels... honest, heartfelt and stupid." Training Wheels is currently streaming on YouTube, with more episodes to be released throughout the remainder of the year.

Let’s (Continue To) Talk About Sex

This month’s writer-turned-reader showcase, Let’s Talk About Sex, goes down at 7pm on Monday, November 12, at Jack London Review. November’s roster features a slew of fantastic talent, including Jennifer Robin, Richie Stratton, Wendy Weiss and Theresa Kennedy-Dupay, plus host Dan DePrez, as always. From the press kit: "Richie Stratton a popular Portland-based comedian who has appeared in print often. Wendy Weiss is known both as a veteran Portland comedian and as a performer at Mary’s Club and Devil’s Point. Jennifer Robin is the author of Death Confetti and other works—she’s an experienced performance artist and liter-atrix. Theresa Kennedy-Dupay is a Portland novelist and writer of essays, poems and more. Dan DePrez started Portland’s first comedy open mic, before going on to have successful careers as both a comedian and writer." Sounds fun, right? Comedy, sex, words...all of these things are the reason you enjoy Exotic, so perhaps you should plan to be at Jack London Review on Monday, November 12.

AmbeRed Calendar Release

Speaking of the Jack London Review, industry photographer and friend of Exotic, AmbeRed, is releasing her latest calendar, Monday, November 5, at the historic downtown venue. A fitting location for AmbeRed’s 2019 Wicked Ink Calendar release, the event goes down from 7pm-11pm. Chances are, you’ll see at more than a few of your favorite local dancers make an appearance in the calendar.