Everyone who smokes weed listens to at least two of three types of music: hip hop, reggae and classic rock. It doesn’t matter who you are—if you’ve smoked weed for more than ten years, you know who Snoop Dogg, Bob Marley and Led Zeppelin are. Beyond this, you owned a copy of Sublime’s 40 Ounces To Freedom, because it incorporates all of these genres. Something about pot rewires your brain to appreciate mediocre music. Yes, I said it—Snoop, Bob and Zepp are exactly okay. They all rely on better, more unknown artists to draw upon for their style and sound, they all have exactly one good album and anyone who defends them is high as fuck. So, what do I, the clearly-a-music-expert have to suggest? Thanks for asking. Here are a few genres of music that every pot smoker should consider switching to, instead of just doing a search for "dubstep island rap" and letting the Pandora station in your dispensary drive out more potential customers.
Aside from crossover bands, such as The Gentry (see this month’s Aural Stimulation) or Nine Inch Nails (see the increasing rate of testosterone in Trent Reznor), industrial music is either a love-it-or-hate-it genre of music. If you get easily paranoid (I’m looking at you, sativa smokers) or don’t like hypnotic, dark and grimy sounds mixed over electronic loops and samples from random David Lynch movies, you might not vibe with this genre. But, if you’re like me (an indica fan who is into horror movies and chicks who self-harm for Instagram likes), industrial is the shit. It’s danceable at times, while able to be great background music or even provide a soundtrack to a long, nighttime road trip. Sure, some of it is crap, but the same goes for strains of weed—you’ve just got to find a sample from a good producer who knows what they’re doing.
Bands I would recommend: KMFDM (pre- 2002), Skinny Puppy, Throbbing Gristle, Laibach, Ministry (pre-1999), Tones On Tail and Pigface.
You’d be surprised, but nine out of ten jazz musicians have no idea what the fuck they’re doing. You know how, if you live in one of those super ghetto apartment complexes and you leave the windows open, eventually, all the chaos and noise becomes almost harmonic? Congratulations, you are now able to appreciate jazz. This genre is best for sativa smokers or someone who wants an upbeat vibe. Plus, it’s not very hypnotic—no "four on the floor" beat patterns to zone you out. Rather, you’ll be driving to the coast, zoning out on whatever local station still plays jazz and then, BAM! Random tuba over a schizophrenic piano. It’s a great choice to keep you awake on long trips or while working on a paper for college. Plus, live jazz concerts are full of hot women in their late-thirties who drink wine and don’t have kids—and, you don’t have to pretend you know the headliner to impress them.
Bands I would recommend: no fucking clue. But, I saw Whiplash and that was pretty good.
This is where Sublime has at least a little bit of merit—they wrote (*cough* covered) a bunch of traditional, out-of-the-box "punk" songs. But, did you know that so did about 2,914,109,753 other bands? And, did you also know, that not all punk rock bands are super-low-fidelity, anti-hippie, Crass knockoffs? Punk rock has more sub-genres than metal, but the difference between punk and death ("you mean black doom...wait, no, thrash corpsefuck") metal, is that punk rock is all called "punk rock," save for various waves (eras) and the pop kind. Thus, the "punk" section at your local record store or online playlist is full of undiscovered gems—all under the same label. Some of the bands you’re familiar with (i.e. Dead Kennedys) have some super underrated, stoner-friendly side projects (i.e. Lard), while others have flat-out ignored albums that would otherwise fit into any "traditional" stoner playlist (i.e. Fishbone). Plus, if you decide to get really into punk and start a band, talent is not only irrelevant, but often shunned. It’s like jazz, with less expensive gear and more heroin.
(More) bands I would recommend: Circle Jerks, Operation Ivy, Bad Brains, Plasmatics, The Stooges and anything ska-related (The Specials, Toasters, Pietasters, all that stuff ).
Okay, I can already hear the protesters storming the gates from two sides—one is insisting that Juggalo music is actually rap, while the other is insisting that it’s not even music. While I could argue the former all day, the latter is a straight-up lie. Insane Clown Posse, Twiztid, Tech N9ne (yes, you’re a Juggalo, dude), Esham, G-Mo Skee and even non- Juggalo-official acts (that may as well be) like Kool Keith or Bloodhound Gang count as music. And, it should not be a secret, that said music is fantastic when you’re lit. It doesn’t matter if you go for sativa or indica, anything this bizarre deserves a listen. Where else can you hear storyteller rap about murderous toy dolls or serial killers? Juggalo music is for entertainment, which is why it works. Of course, there are weed-specific brands of Juggalo music (Kottomouth Kings, Potluck, etc.), but they’ve all been recognized by High Times and the like. I’m just here to tell you that Esham’s Boomin’ Words From Hell belongs in every bud smoker’s collection. Juggalo music is to rap what Rob Zombie is to horror films—if you can accept it for what it is, there is nothing like it (and, it’s great when you’re baked).
Bands I would recommend: see above, but also throw in NATAS, Blaze Ya Dead Homie, Mars and House Of Krazees.
