Hello again, my main motherfuckers. As you may have gathered, over the years that I’ve been writing this article, I sometimes fall victim to being quite a bit introspective. When that mood strikes me, I like to read a lot of books written by great philosophers and strategists. Through those late-night manic reading sessions, I’ve developed some rules I attempt to follow on my journey through this mortal coil. I want to share some of my favorites this month and I hope you can find value in at least one of them. If you want to start learning how to make your own rules for winning, I will certainly reference a few books you should check out, so stay tuned.
As the old saying goes, those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Something that I think a lot of people struggle with, in setting out to succeed, is a lack of imagination. It’s like playing chess. If you can’t see forward in the game—if you can’t move the pieces with your mind—you won’t ever be able to win at chess against a real player. Life is certainly a real player—it’s the extra player on the field, the one you both can’t see and always see. You are inside of it, while playing against it. You need to learn to move the pieces in your head, predict the outcome of those moves and use that skill to plan all of your goals—all the way to the end. Set small, immediate goals, that build toward your ultimate goal and be prepared for both success and failure at every step. Know what is going to happen. When I played competitive Halo in tournaments, I was once interviewed and asked how I had such a high kill-to-death ratio, and I replied quite simply, "I don’t plan to shoot where the bad guys are, I plan to shoot where they’re about to be."
Most people probably believe that charisma is a gift—that you’re either born with it and become well-liked (and popular) or you aren’t (and you don’t). This is not at all true—there’s a great book called How To Make Friends And Influence People, which will teach you most of what you need to know. But, in summary, you need to use your body language and eye contact to make people feel connected with you. People who feel connected with you will want you to like them. People who want you to like them will do shit to help you achieve your goals. Additionally, people who see that you are kind and confident will recognize your path and see that path as likely to succeed. People who think you’re likely to succeed will align themselves with you, because they will hope that once you do, you’ll help them reach their goals.
Humans are incredibly predictable animals—they generally don’t act in a random, chaotic fashion. It can seem that way sometimes, but once you learn how to ask the right questions and read between the lines, you can learn what a person’s motivations are. People will always act in line with what motivates them. Generally, I’ve found people have two layers of motivations—conscious and subconscious. As a rule, it is easier to spot the conscious ones: love, money, fame, revenge, prestige...etc. The subconscious ones can manifest themselves in several ways. But, generally, they are linked very closely with how they were raised in childhood—faith, morality, ethical values and level of psychopathy are all excellent indicators of what drives a person on a very deep level. Once you learn to understand a person’s motivation, you can understand how that person can be utilized to reach your goals. It sounds very manipulative—and, it can be—but, if you have solid moral and ethical values, you can choose not to use people for your own good at the cost of theirs. Life is definitely competitive, but this isn’t the Highlander universe and there actually can be "more than one" at the end of the race. If you are smart and ethical, you can build a team of people and move as a unit toward the goal. If you aren’t ethical, but you are smart, you can line them up like steps on a staircase. Whichever one happens is up to you. But, no one wins without using other people to do it.
The Art Of War is one the best and most confusing books on strategy you can read in your life. You need to read this book and you need to read it enough times that you understand it. I have read this book more times than any other book. I started reading it in middle school and I didn’t understand it much (if any) at that point, but I did understand one important thing: you should never fight a battle you aren’t sure you will win. Any conflict that is destined to fail does two very, very bad things for you. First, it wastes your resources—whether those are tangible resources or your emotional ones. Second, it allows your enemy to capture whatever resources you didn’t burn in the conflict, making them more powerful and giving them more information. In a battle of wits or a battle of will, information is the most valuable asset you have. Don’t teach your enemy how to beat you, by going into conflict before you’re ready. It is truly foolish. And, you will go into a cycle of loss to the same opponent, and eventually, you’ll lose your ability to use logic or make good decisions, ensuring you are permanently defeated.
Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius, is one of the most valuable pieces of writing for anyone who cares deeply about being successful and well-respected. Marcus Aurelius was the last of the five good emperors of Rome and he left behind his thoughts on stoicism in this book. The main theme of this book is self-discipline and I think most people who hear that phrase think it refers to going to the gym or eating right, but it is much more than that. You should force yourself to experience suffering—an example is when Aurelius slept on a stone floor, even though he had access to the most lavish palaces Rome had to offer. He spent most of his time on his countryside farm, with very few guards or servants. The reason he did, is that he didn’t want to be defined by luxury—that type of life is easy to take from you. If you are good at living simply and find joy in your work, you can never be broken by loss, because you can always rebuild your simple life (even if completely alone). Don’t complain, always do your work and don’t expect a reward for doing what you are supposed to do. Speak simply and without lying, so that your words can never be twisted against you. Learn everything that can be learned from your betters and always credit them for their wisdom, if only in your own mind. And, in my opinion, most importantly, learn the balance you have of power and wisdom. Because, great power with little wisdom has never served the greater good and certainly will not lead you to success. No one wants to be the king of the rubble pile, because they used their great power without any wisdom.
I hope something in here sparks some inspiration in you, so that you use it to go out and really learn the rules of the game. Everyone can win in their own right and everyone’s dream is worth following, as long as it serves the greater good. We all have the ability to be our best selves, but being your best self and really, truly, living your best life is not easy—it’s really fucking hard. It requires sacrifice and self-discipline.
As always, I welcome you to reach out with any questions, comments or just to tell me I’m an idiot and you wish I’d shut up. I’m on Twitter at @NextGenRetro1 and on the electronic mail at NextGenerationRetro@Gmail.com. Have a great month, motherfuckers and motherfuckettes.
