The obvious isn’t always obvious, especially when realizing that the obvious will shatter your entire worldview. A couple months ago, an article titled "The Dangerous Rise Of Men Who Won’t Date ‘Woke’ Women" (filed under "news") appeared in Refinery 29. In it, presumably "woke" woman, Vicky Spratt (whose work includes "My Little Sister Got Engaged & People Keep Asking If I’m Okay," "Feeling Hopeless After The Election? Here Are 5 Things You Can Do Today" and "’SelfPartnered’ Really Isn’t The Term Single Women Need") takes great issue with the fact that one particularly successful, famous man with money (some guy from a show—I don’t care, neither should she) made a comment about not wanting to court "woke women," i.e. bitter, angry bloggers who feel that guys in his position, with a shred of taste, are "dangerous."
Today, we will be addressing "woke" women, who I will loosely define as "women whose political and social attitudes are extreme, over-the-top and radical interpretations of whatever current narrative surrounds smug, authoritarian, do-gooders—particularly those seek to limit the speech, employment and/or livelihood of those who do not fully agree with their point of view." In 2020, this is the chick with green hair and cat-eyed glasses, who told her Twitter followers to go after a small business because one of their employees had a Trump hat on, succeeded in doing so and is now teaching a course on PostRacial Intersectional Veganism at the local college (which has more to do with preaching her twisted interpretation of feminism than it does veganism). If you don’t have a stereotype of the "woke" woman in your head by this point, consider yourself lucky and just skip this column—but, most people know exactly what type of person I’m talking about. She’s the one getting offended right now, whether because men won’t date her or because men are "mansplaining" in print why they won’t date her.
As always, no one is talking about actually dangerous woke men who adopt wokeness as a last-ditch-effort mating strategy and always end up being creepers in the end (hey Vicky, there are plenty of soy-based alternatives to sexist men...go date one of them). Nor are we talking about Netflix star and resurrected sex icon Ted Bundy or other men of his type. No, we are talking about the danger of male absence—as it turns out, woke women are apparently entitled to men’s bodies, because the patriarchy or the current year or something like that.
Stop for a second and ask yourself, woke lady, why a man would want to date you in the first place—what do you bring to the table? To most people, good men won’t date woke women for the same reason that black men don’t join the Klan. When the majority of your Twitter posts are anti-male (if you replaced "white men" with "black" or "Jewish," it would read like @RealAdolfHitler, just with pronouns in the bio), you see everything through problem lenses (seriously, everything from air conditioning to milk has been labeled sexist and racist by woke women... just pick anything, add "is sexist" and do an internet search for it) and not once in your adult life have you taken responsibility for a single circumstance of it (responsibility is a "right-wing conspiracy" these days), I’m baffled as to why I’m not aroused at the idea of going on a date with you. Besides, what are you even doing ranking men from good to dangerous, if the idea of merit itself seems to disgust you? Further, doesn’t the whole idea of gender become problematic? Aren’t you excluding trans men? If not, why aren’t you dating one, or better yet, what would you say if they didn’t want to date you???
Trust me, you wouldn’t want to date you, either.
However, all of the above can seem cruel and snarky. That, ladies, gentlemen and nonbinaries, is what we call "being a dick" and it doesn’t work when you’re trying to convince people to change their opinion (yeah, I know, it’s pretty baffling). So, I’m here to answer Vicky’s question honestly.
As always, if the genders were swapped, the same would be true—good people of any gender shouldn’t risk dating woke anything. Either way, let’s get to brass tacks...
This one is somewhat ironic, seeing as how "unrealistic beauty standards" are exactly what the more rational feminist types take is sue with—as in, standards set by barely alive Calvin Klein models, who look like a toothpick ate a Q-Tip and would make a starving toddler feel fat by comparison. And, yes, speaking as a male with low standards and an appreciation for normal women, a skeleton is the opposite of an aphrodisiac (an "antidisiac," if you will). I’ll even add to this that I’m a fan of natural proportions and a trunk with some subwoofers. A bigger woman or a curvy girl is fine, if that’s how she naturally fits into her body. But, to the woke woman, the idea that body type and appearance preference exists at all is "dangerous," "harmful" and "sexist" (or one of the other euphemisms for "sour grapes" that unqualified applicants use). To the woke woman, you don’t just have to accept her for who she is, you actively have to fantasize about it. It’s your job to deconstruct your social programming and find a way to get a boner at the sight of a Hellraiser III Cenobite. Otherwise, you’re "shaming" her. I mean, the reality is, if I could make a conscious decision regarding what causes me to have an erection, I’d be gay...but, oh, wait, sexual preference isn’t a choice, now is it?
But, aside from body size (which often takes years, if at all, to change), woke women will go two steps further and openly "challenge" all socially agreed-upon standards of beauty—shaved eyebrows, neon hair that looks like it has been dyed by a toddler, the "...okay, let’s unpack why what you just said is offensive" horizontal bangs cut, the over-sized band shirt (don’t worry—the armpit hair doubles as a bra), brown-green eyeliner, tons of shitty-but-expensive tattoos and bright orange lipstick, all of which consist of "unattainable beauty standards," as they require exponentially more work (and money) than hitting the gym or shampooing out the Blueberry Swirl Manic Panic. So, the degree to which woke women accent that which goes against "traditional beauty standards" takes a lot of goddamn effort. Challenge accepted, I guess?
Guys will date a chubby chick who knows what clothes fit and how to do makeup like a person who pays their own rent. Dudes will take home the average-at-best girl who has a great smile and a killer personality. Most men will not, however, date something that looks like a Saints Row IV character designed by a serial killer. Men don’t want to attempt the whole "raise-a-stable-child" cosplay (you know, the whole purpose of sex, even if it’s just theoretical or biologically-driven, feelgood chemicals doing their thing) with an angry woman who treats her body like a trash can. And, this isn’t me speaking just for men—women talk about other women’s looks more than the entire staff of any given porn magazine—so, if the shoe doesn’t fit, put it back in the free bin and keep reading. But, if you take pride in adopting the fauxrebellion aesthetic that most woke women do, don’t complain when that same aesthetic isn’t sought after by the masses. I don’t mind a shaved head and tattoos, either—it’s the whole "sort of" shaved head and "might as well get a" tattoo that turns most guys off. We get it—you’re unique and you hate your dad. But, does that have to be your whole costume?
In fact, none of the above is even applicable, because to the woke woman, preference itself is discrimination. Are you the type of guy who prefers an average body shape, three or more limbs and vaginas? Well, you can take your fat-shaming, ableist, transphobic ass elsewhere, shitlord. Actually, that brings me to the next reason that most men won’t date woke women...
With Sexual Liberation Version 2.0, the #MeToo movement and dating apps, many very valuable and important discussions surrounding consent have surfaced. Let me be perfectly fucking clear—on a whole, this is great. The entertainment industry is a full of powerful creeps who needed to get called out and watching them burn is the real wholesome entertainment coming from Hollywood. I’m glad that women aren’t as afraid to come forward as they once were, now that bad men are being called out.
With that said...
Sadly, in any situation, a small handful of bad people will pull a "Jussie" and take advantage of our society’s collective empathy. While rare, false rape accusations are a very real danger (most dangerous things are rare, by the way). And, the bulk of the ones I’ve been privy to—nationally and locally—are made by vengeful, spiteful, woke women (this hurts actual assault survivors and accusers as much as it does men, by the way). So, while this rare, life-ruining threat is statistically small, you can exponentially increase your chances of catching it, if you date woke women. Anything that’s rare and dangerous has a concentrated, quarantined nest from which it stems. For instance, it’s pretty irrational to have a fear of both A.I.D.S. and cannibalism, but if you were attending a party with Jeffrey Dahmer in the mid-1980s at a heroin dealer’s bathhouse, your chances of seeing this irrational, rare fear come to life would be exponentially increased.
Should the average man worry about false accusations? No. Is it depressingly hard for the average female assault survivor to even file a report, have it be taken seriously and bring her attacker to trial? Yes. But, it is also shockingly easy for a woke women to get away with false accusations, especially with the college campus kangaroo courts and the jury of public opinion. A simple internet search for the phrase "false rape college" returns dozens (if not hundreds) of different instances, in which campus (and actual) courts have taken away these men’s lives, even after video evidence, victim testimony or other indisputable circumstances prove them innocent. And, not one of the woke women is held accountable—some are even lauded as heroes, long after the accusations are proven false and some dude’s life is in the toilet. Take, for instance, Sabrina Rubin Erdely, who used Rolling Stone as a platform to falsely accuse multiple men of rape or "Mattress Girl" Emma Sulkowicz, whose false accusation came complete with a live art display of her carrying a mattress around campus for attention (and with blatant disregard to triggering actual rape survivors), both of whom are openly woke and fit every stereotype to boot. Men should avoid women like this and Rolling Stone should be ashamed for trying to bury their past with a 404 page:
So, unless you have a few thousand bucks set aside for attorney fees and have zero regard for your reputation, wear a condom to prevent H.I.V., wear rubber-soled shoes in case of a lightning strike and avoid false accusations by not dating woke women.
Beyond what folks typically assume when they hear the term "false accusations," a more common worry regards the constantly changing definitions of consent. Forget spontaneity, forget rough sex, drunk sex, office Christmas party sex, vacation sex, "I don’t think I want a second date, but last night was fun" sex...it’s all rape if it needs to be, according to woke women. Like much of her persona, to the woke woman, sex is simply a power play. This is equally ironic and dark, because any expert on sexual assault (of the garden variety, male-on-female type) will tell you that rape itself is a power play—it has nothing to do with getting off on pleasurable contact, but rather, the exact opposite—the rapist gets off by exerting power over another person, just like woke women do.
More disturbing than the threat of false accusations, is something that falls on the opposite end of the common sense aisle and more in line with the original article about how it’s "dangerous" that men won’t date you—if a man chooses not to date a woke woman (or, if he chooses not to accept an invitation for sexual activity when she desires it), he will also be seen as the bad guy—I know from not only third-party observation, but from personal experience, as well.
I met a girl in Arcata, CA, a bizarre hub of woke-meets-Libertarian—she was the former, I being the latter. We had drinks and she invited me to her place, where we smoked some weed and had a few more shots. She asked if I wanted to stay the night, I replied with something that resembled a string of vowels, then I fell my drunk ass over. She took me to her room, put my intoxicated body into her bed and I vaguely remember falling asleep, only to wake up a few hours later, with her topless, stroking my dick. At this point, I was sober enough to say, "Nah, I’m drunk, you’re drunk, let’s wait on this," to which she replied, "Oh, I didn’t know you were a fucking slut-shamer! What, do you think I’m some sort of whore? Now you’re making me feel like a tramp and I never do this. I don’t just bring random guys home, if that’s what you’re implying!!!" She was yelling this at me, while the room was spinning and I was trying to push her off my crotch. Go ahead...swap genders and tell me what this sounds like.
If you express that you’d like to wait on sex, woke women will either accuse you of implying that they are whores, run off to fuck one of their other "partners" in the meantime, or both. I mean, there’s really no reason for them to settle down, because...
To the woke woman, she’s gonna take all the fun out of hooking up, so why not at least hope that a family may come of it, if you’re going to have sexless union with someone who nags you for not giving them enough attention? Well...that’s not gonna happen.
There are two ends to the sexual activity spectrum—procreation and pleasure. On one end, you have Amish people who probably take herbal drugs to reduce any and all orgasmic experience from the act of churning out babies (I’m sorry if you got the pun). On the other end, you have voluntarily sterile, hedonistic pornstars, whose sexual escapades have literally nothing to do with children (hopefully). While the former is great for child-rearing, it’s not fun. Conversely, while pumping yourself full of so much birth control that your pee is sterilizing the city’s water supply, going to month-long music festivals with your group of poly fuckboys and opposing the family unit with your vote can be fun, that’s no womb to raise a child in (at least, not while the drugs are still in your system). Politically, the idea of being "woke" may be cool on paper, but in practice, it often translates to "up with hedonism, down with traditionalism." Again, this is perfectly fine (hi, I’m a Libertarian with no kids, by choice), but signs of attractiveness and signs of fertility have a great overlap—woke politics don’t usually promote the procreative undertones required to get an erection. Every hot-button issue for the woke woman is based on the freedom to avoid procreative gender and sex roles (forget the whole "masculinity is toxic" narrative for now). Basically, having a "relationship" with a woke woman is like having a "degree" in Postmodern Art Philosophy—sure, you’re going through the steps to emulate a formality, but will it actually lead to anything? Add to this, the thousands of woke-woman-penned articles floating around, about how monogamy is a thing of the past or about how men should allow their wives a "cheat day." No one wants to sign a lease on a rental car, no one wants to put a down payment on an apartment and no one wants to commit to a woke woman who hates the idea of commitment.
And, for the umpteenth time, I’m not antiliberal or anti-progressive on paper. Last month, I dropped acid and went clubbing with a transgender chick, while we talked shit about how much we hate kids—but, I’m not the one writing columns about how the women who won’t date guys like me are "dangerous" (in fact, I’m telling the women who think I’m dangerous that I have mutual feelings for them, which is quite ironic). Why? Well, for one, I’m aesthetically unappealing to most women. Secondly, I believe in consent. Third, my politics are absolute shit and I’m definitely not daddy material. So, why am I able to laugh all these things off and wash it all down with a glass of self-awareness and responsibility? Because, unlike woke women, I’m actually pro-choice, up to and including the part where I accept the fact that my own choices have consequences. I’m not going to claim that women who won’t date men like me are "dangerous," any more than I will claim that the hot stove I just touched was "harassing" my hands. With the above being said (and, possibly ripped out of our magazine and thrown on the ground), let’s get to the meat and potatoes of why woke women don’t understand their lack of appeal to men who eat meat and potatoes.
In a not-so-surprising twist, the phrase "woke" appears on both sides of the political aisle—while the woke right is busy preparing for the rapture by protesting military funerals and hurling slurs at lesbian couples, the woke left is busy canceling a celebrity on Twitter for engaging in wrongthink and hatespeech. Perhaps, it’s not that men don’t want to date women who fall on the left side of the aisle or (pretend to) care about the rights of oppressed classes, but, rather, men (and women) don’t want to date cult members. The difference between an ideology and a cult is whether or not anyone is allowed to challenge it.
For instance, the entire scientific process is based off of challenging a null hypothesis—testing something that is assumed to be true, by attempting to prove that it is not. Is the globe round or flat? Even the most original gangster scientists welcome a debate. On the other hand, when it comes to cults, morals and virtues are buried in a rigid, unquestionable set of incompatible beliefs—whether virgin birth in the desert or being attacked by M.A.G.A. hat-wearing thugs in Chicago, "...just believe, because asking for verification is a form of violence." Anyone outside of the cult is (thankfully) unable to process the rules of the cult, because they’re not consistent. For instance, when a feminist journalist criticized transgender M.M.A. fighter Fallon Fox for breaking a cisgender woman’s skull, before Fox had even disclosed her transition (which is the equivalent of lying about one’s weight class), she (the journalist) was accused of "violence" by the woke mob, because of her supposedly harmful words. I’m not trying to bring up the trans athlete debate—I’m just pointing out that the woke mob feels that words are violence, but skull fractures are to be expected. And I’m the dangerous one for not wanting to date them?
Strangely enough, the only criticizing of the woke ideology that is engaged in by its members, is done in what Obama called a "circular firing squad" (by the way, this just in...Obama has been canceled and re-branded a white supremacist for his remarks). Woke women seem to mainly take issue with lesser woke women. There is never any self-reflection— instead, group members who don’t toe the line are attacked, while cult members attempting to flee the compound are pulled down by other cult members, like crabs attempting to escape a bucket. The woke woman ideology is all about calling out other, less-holy members of their woke cult. Terms like "T.E.R.F." and "S.W.E.R.F." are used to describe women who self-identify as "radical feminist," but exclude transgender women and sex workers, respectively. However, there aren’t any acronyms for non-feminist women who hate feminists (at least, I haven’t heard any yet). Of note, do you know how many acronyms describe men’s activists who exclude transgender men or male sex workers? Zero. "Come on in and have a beer, dude," versus "Well, actually, you’re destroying the sisterhood and we’re going to unpack this, so I can get you fired." Gee...I wonder why there’s no chemistry between these two groups.
Woke women don’t attempt to engage with their so-called enemies, because any attempt at a fair debate would destroy the woke narrative or result in an endless stream of "So, what you’re saying is...," otherwise known as "wokesplaining." Take Reddit, hub of wokeness, as an example—for some reason, the Men Going Their Own Way subReddit—a group of guys who want to be left alone and enjoy posting pictures of road trips—has been quarantined for "dangerous and offensive content," while the Female Dating Strategy sub-Reddit—a group dedicated to manipulating and lying to men for cash and prizes—is readily promoted on the site. Again, how is avoiding these women dangerous?
Back to the point, as I said at the beginning of this article, woke women are an extreme, rigid and irrational version of an otherwise normal, flexible and rational ideology. It’s the difference between "Yeah, I’m a Christian" and "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU." Pedestrian variety religious types are fine, but people who scream death threats at gay couples and shame dead troops are in a cult. On the same tip, pedestrian variety liberal women are fine—but, the woke chick penning a hit piece about how Ms. Pac-Man is rape culture (this was only a hypothetical example until I did an internet search for it) is in a cult.
Lastly, I find it odd how much the woke right and the woke left share in common—both groups believe that sex and gender are the same thing, both groups feel that race matters more than their merit, both groups are anti-science, both groups want power, both groups believe that guilt is a tool and neither group is attractive to the majority of good men.
Why won’t good men date woke women? Well, as one woke woman, explaining to me why she doesn’t trust a single man, phrased it (we were on a dinner date, by the way), "If you have a bowl of candy and one piece is poison, would you even bother eating a single piece from that bowl?" And, with that, she kind of answered the question for me. Shit...I guess that’s what I get for not letting the woke woman speak first.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering what happened to Mattress Girl, she’s not in prison, alongside some random guy who criticized a woke journalist on Twitter or was provably, falsely accused of rape on a college campus. No, prison isn’t a place for woke women who ruin men’s lives—it’s a place for wrongthinkers, who dare question the woke-luminati. Instead, Mattress Girl was just recently the stunning and brave subject of an article about women who have "abandoned the radical left." According to New York Mag, Emma Sulkowicz (Mattress Girl) has recently been seen socializing in "conservative and Libertarian" circles, after realizing that she was attracted to a conservative man on a dating app. And, yes, he swiped back, even after looking up her name and realizing who she was. So, in summary, wealthy and attractive men, on the other side of the political aisle, with a lot to lose, will give women with weird haircuts, who have documented, self-admitted histories of filing false accusations and no interest in having kids, a fair chance— as long as they’re no longer identifying as "woke."
Men will date literally any type of woman, except you. Soak that in.
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