They say a bartender acts as a therapist. I decided to make it official. My only credentials involve listening to hundreds upon hundreds of people’s problems, over more years than I can admit. Let me wipe the bar down for you, put down a fresh coaster, then pour you a drink. Pull up your stool and tell me all about it. Remember, I’ve heard it all. If you have a question, please write to DiscountTherapist@Yahoo.com. You will remain anonymous. Also, you get what you pay for.
So, I’ve been traveling around the world for nearly the past five years as a nomad. I clearly have a passion for travel, living abroad and learning about other cultures. How come I cannot meet another woman from the U.S., with similar interests and passions?
I’ve gone on dates with like-minded women from the U.S., who, on paper, look like we’d be a perfect match. Yet, there’s never any interest from the other side—I just don’t get it.
I was recently in Europe for three months and I couldn’t get a single girl on a date, let alone get laid. But when I go to Asia, the Middle East or Africa, I get a ton of interest. Do you know how it makes me feel, when only struggling women in developing countries like me? Really shitty and bitter. It makes me feel like I’m a walking ATM machine or a chance at a better life, and that’s all. I’ve met other digital nomad types on the road and they seem to have absolutely no interest in me. All these years, I’ve always wanted to find a like-minded woman to date and see the world together. Now that I’m in my mid-thirties, I really want to find someone to get married to. Instead, all I find are women with no ability to leave their countries or wanting me to pay for their travels. Maybe I’m just a horrible person who is just attracting their equal?
-Lonely Nomad
Dear Nomad,
Finding a partner isn’t easy for any of us. If it were, songs wouldn’t be written, poetry wouldn’t exist and neither would dating apps. Finding a partner is one of the hardest things in life. This is why people stay in abusive relationships, overlook cheating and sell themselves short, with partners who don’t deserve them. I’m guilty of it myself—I’ve allowed more than I should have, in the name of love (and the pursuit of it). If it were easy, we’d all be paired off, couple’s counseling wouldn’t exist and neither would divorce. Don’t beat yourself up for not finding it easily—none of us do.
Let’s talk about your challenges as a potential partner. You’re constantly traveling. Not everyone can afford to do that with you. Hell, I’d love to just travel, but how would I pay for it? Outside of maxing out credit cards, having a unicorn job where you could work remotely or sex work, I can’t think of a way and even both those options combined together probably wouldn’t fund a constant travel lifestyle. Most women your age have children or family, which they are extremely obligated to. If you meet a woman that is interested in you, in whatever town or country you’re in at that moment, she will understand that it’s temporary, because you’re soon going to move on. I’m not an expert on women, but I can assure you most aren’t jazzed on that, nor are they willing to invest much.
Which brings us to the next part... they treat you as an ATM, because you have nothing to offer. When are you leaving next?
Sadly, Nomad, if you are serious about getting a life partner, you will need to drop an anchor somewhere for a while—or, you have to bankroll it. When you want to cohabitate down with someone, you need to have a secure nest. Wanting someone to share your lifestyle with no protest is unrealistic. Being a Nomad is a very specific way of life—one that a lot of people might not be able to do and you need to be open to that, if you truly want to invite someone into your life. Relationships are about compromise. Both ways. Maybe, you’ll find that unique unicorn who has a trust fund or someone who can work remotely. It totally could happen and I want that for you. Until then, sadly, you’re going to be resolved to a life of temporary hook-ups, until you want to be more stable. Women have a certain privilege, where we can almost order sex in, like it’s Postmates. We don’t need to waste our time with some guy who won’t be here tomorrow. And, if we do, it’s only for exactly what it is.
-DiscountTherapist
I’m trying to cut back on my drinking and have decided to smoke more pot in its place. This seems to be working for me. What are your views about this practice?? -Flower Power
Dear Flower Power,
Marijuana is being legalized in more states and more countries, every single day. It’s not habitforming, has no withdrawal symptoms and no evidence of altering mood towards violence. It has been shown (with scientific research) to help with cancer, autism, seizures, P.T.S.D., depression, anxiety, and has aided the opioid crisis (and addicts, in general).
Alcohol, however, does none of these things
Alcohol is one of the most dangerous addictions you can fuck with. Just quitting it could kill you, if you are a heavy drinker. Not even heroin can do that.
I don’t know where you live, so I’m not sure if weed is legal where you are. If it is, please smoke away. You can pick your strains and tailor the experience to your needs. What a time to live! If it isn’t legal where you live, still, choose weed over booze. All over, people are getting their weed-related prison sentences lifted. I promise that it will be okay, if you get a little personal-use weed. Most cops ain’t got time to mess with that, unless you live in a small town where nobody has anything to do. If that’s the case, I suggest getting a medical card. You have that back pain, right? Or maybe trouble sleeping? For a small fee, you can be legit with it.
Does it look trashy? NO. Being a mumble-mouthed, shitty drunk does. Trust me—the alcoholics are envious of someone who can go off it and just smoke grass instead.
-DiscountTherapist
