Despite the Plague™ sweeping our already
slightly haggard-looking planet,
people keep on doing the things
they do. They may have to do them
at a grudgingly maintained distance
while donning customized masks,
but they muddle through. They still
bitch about grocery shopping, make
grand future plans for travel that
they definitely won’t do (plague or
not), let themselves go for any excuse
and even sometimes move out
from their ex’s apartment, having to
go it alone. Sometimes, they’re forced
to look for apartments that are available
on a part-time, 7-11 employee’s
salary, and our job is to make something
that skirts building code violations
through bribery and intimidation
sound like a great deal. Let’s take
a look at some shining examples from
previous listings as examples, to help
you become the best property management
company professional or
real estate agent you can be...
What a long, strange month it’s been.
While Delta-8 (see last month’s Green
Room Diaries) remains somewhat legal
on a national level, it is no longer available
at Oregon-area dispensaries. Moon-
Wlkr Delta-8 gummies are still available
online (go ahead and have some delivered
by federal carriers), and GWAR of all
people sold me a bottle last week (thanks
to Consequence Of Sound). But, alas, you
cannot pick the stuff up when you’re buying
flavored hash pens that absolutely nobody
over the age of 22 uses...
It’s summer again, which means barbecues,
water parks, fireworks, outdoor human sacrifices, and of course, the humble American
road trip.
Road trips are a staple of fair-weather activities.
You and a carload of people set out to
experience the open highway and the freedom
to do whatever you please and find
yourself wherever you end up. After all, it’s
about the journey, not the destination. The
hallmark of any solid road trip is the little
stops at novel roadside attractions, put up
in big cities, small towns, and the middle of
nowhere alike. From the breathtaking to the
bizarre, these attractions are meant to fish a
few coins from your pocket in exchange for
the memory of being there. While I tried to
avoid things that are already famous, there
are a few which stick out, and if you don’t see
your favorite (or something you feel must be
included), you may either a) cram it or b) let
me know via social media. See details on that
at the bottom of the article.
Behold, my list of often-overlooked, but not-to-be-missed slices of pure Americana, by
state, alphabetically...
In recent years, a lot of local Portland-area businesses have
closed, re-opened, closed again, and then tried to open up once
more, only to flnd their numbers in the red before they give up
and pass the lease on to whatever SoCal-based taphouse owner
is in town for the week. But, this has nothing to do with COVID
lockdowns, the economy, or even location—there are several
ways to run a business into the ground, and of all the businesses
that I’ve seen trampled by bad decisions and internal clusterfucks,
the majority have been live entertainment venues. How
somebody manages to fuck up the "stare at naked women while
drinking alcohol" business model is beyond me, but it happens
all the time. On the fiip side, I have seen some of the least likely
locations stick around like a post-nuclear-war cockroach, regardless
of a pandemic, economic recession, or Yelp mobs. And,
they do this by following some basic (but all-too-often ignored)
rules...
As J woke up, the wind came rushing
through the boxcar with a roar that
sounded like disembodied voices. They
were chanting along with the clang and
boom of the steel skeleton all around
him—the whole operation swaying
around turns and groaning through the
night. He imagined the voices as ghosts
of long-dead suicides by train, their warnings
unheeded and unknowable. By the
height of the moon flying by between
the dark green sheets of trees, he determined
it was late. He looked across the
car at the corner where the three newcomers
snored and scratched themselves
in a heap of rags and half-zipped sleeping
bags. Earlier that day, he had hauled the
trio aboard—sunburned, windswept, and
dressed in dust, with a yellow, gauzy aura.
They had come trotting out from behind
the sage and garbage, struggling to make
pace with the train as it slowly pulled out
of the yard...
Friends! It’s been so long!!! I don’t even know what year it is and I’m all out of blow. Luckily, it appears the clubs are opening up. So, once again, our humble little rag answers to the call to be stuffed back in shelves for you lovely patrons to jerk off to and find out about what I hope will be a slew of exciting events that may or may not be happening around town, depending on them case numbers. Fingers crossed—after you wash your hands, of course...
