With early closing times and capacity limits in our review mirrors, this summer is shaping up to feel almost normal, right? I mean, let’s take a minute to reflect on how far we’ve come, using our utmost positive, beer’s half-full mindset. Not long ago, we were forced to place our last slippery nipple order by 9:35 p.m., in hopes of reaching that desired level of sloppiness that only career alcoholics can achieve prior to 10:30 p.m. If that wasn’t irritating enough, our favorite watering holes had a capacity of 12 penises after accounting for dancers, bartenders, and that guru of all things greasy in the kitchen. Top that with having to remember to put our stinky, now-soaked masks on every time we went to piss, and it was a miserable time that was only marginally better than staying at home — or at least that’s what we told ourselves.
So, the next time you want to complain about hearing your fifth set of Cardi B’s "WAP," just remember how things used to be and fix your ‘tude. In fact, you should punish yourself for not appreciating all your many blessings and sing along — loudly! That being said, I would suggest you stop just short of the end, so you don’t get thrown out for insinuating the beautiful entertainers are ladies of the night.
Yes, it truly is business as usual in the industry! There are all kinds of things going on this month, including a Bikini Car & Dog Wash at Lucky Devil Lounge, a ’70s Disco Party and Wild Wild West Party at Stars Cabaret (Bridgeport & Salem locations respectively), and Girls Gone Freakiest Contest hosted by DJ Dick Hennessy at Pizza Yaki. Make sure to check Erotic City’s Spotlight below or their respective ads for the dates, times, and details. See you there!
Let’s not forget sales and specials, too. It’s "Romance Awareness Month" at Adult Shop and Eva’s Boutique. Score 20 to 25% off a range of awesome, naughty stuff. Don’t stop there though, head straight over to one of the five local Taboo (Video) locations and check out more in-store specials than you can shake a crop at. Not to be outdone, Fantasyland is keeping the party going 24 hours for all your late-night, bow-chicka-wow-wow needs!
And specifically for the ladies, we have a very unique service being advertised by Honeypot Harmony: Cleanse your womb of toxins and past partners. They are offering Exotic readers 10% off their first purchase so be sure to check them out on IG: @honeypotharmony.
Ahhhh yeah!!! Rub your eyes and read that subtitle again, Spanky. Miss Exotic Oregon is confirmed and going down this fall! After nearly two years of no Exotic events, we’ll be crowning a Miss Exotic Oregon 2022 at the end of the year.
The preliminary qualifying rounds will begin in October, so keep your eyes peeled for more details so you can support your favorite entertainers in their quest for the crown.
Whether you’re an entertainer wanting to register for the pageant, a club owner or manager wanting to host one of the preliminary qualifying rounds, or you want to reserve your VIP table at the finals early, it’s as easy as calling or texting (503) 380-5800 or emailing missexotic@xmag.com. First-come, first-serve on all of those accounts, so hit us up immediately.
That’s it for this month, folks. Enjoy the rest of your summer and take it easy on the Kratom Lemonade! Oh, and...
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503.241.4317
SUN 8—LUCKY DEVIL LOUNGE—BIKINI CAR & DOG WASH
SUN 21—PIZZA YAKI—GIRLS GONE FREAKIEST CONTEST
SUN 28—STARS CABARET BRIDGEPORT—‘70S DISCO PARTY
SUN 28—STARS CABARET SALEM—WILD WILD WEST PARTY
DAILY—CABARET—HAPPY HOUR—2PM- 6PM
DAILY—COLUMBIA STRIP—HAPPY HOUR—4PM -7PM
DAILY—DV8—HAPPY HOUR—NOON -3PM
DAILY—THE LOUNGE—HAPPY HOUR—NOON- 2PM
