by Esmeralda Rupp-Spangle
We do tend to think of our own lives as being pretty rough. Overdue bills, unfaithful lovers, court-ordered therapy, family squabbles, missing quesadillas at the drive-thru; but truth be told, our lives are pretty hunky-dory when compared to some of our chitinous cousins. I always like to say that perspective and understanding of just how absolutely metal nature can be, gives us all a good view that’s often missing from our own existence. So, let us all take a moment to reflect on the lives of our oft-overlooked insect and arachnid neighbors, and perhaps appreciate just how mundane and small our own troubles are when compared with the true horror of being (or being a host for)...
by Blazer Sparrow
Although live music is making a slow, steady, skittish comeback, I, unfortunately, haven’t had the chance to venture out yet. So, there’s less and less for me to write about (hence, the absence in last month’s issue). As much as I want to resort to snarky music nerd trivia regurgitated as mediocre comedy, I feel like I need to try my damnedest to return to my roots as a scene critic. But again, in this new, boring apocalypse, it’s hard to suss out what the scene even is anymore. After restrictions were lifted, we had about a month—that I missed—of live music before folks who prefer to use horse medicine that isn’t Ketamine drove up hospital numbers to the point where we have to mask up again. I’m not complaining though, at least shows weren’t canceled. Now, we just have to pay a second door guy to check vaccine cards—just one more new normal after another...
by Elise Fontaine
The white sedan rolled under a tree in the parking lot. Eurydice parked the car away from the illuminated Motel 6. She smiled so much on the way to meet Orpheus that her face hurt. She pressed cold hands against flush cheeks, then took three deep breaths to calm her jittering mind and chest. Her gaze fixed on the brochure palette in the bright lobby, across from the car. Vibrant reds, oranges, and greens caught her eye as she skipped toward the building. What was there to do in the drab town of Centralia, Washington? Other than uniting with your twin flame for the first time at a seedy hotel, late at night...
by Wombstretcha
Okay, hear me out. Lists of "weird" or "gross" foods are generally an excuse to mock people in places you’ve never been, on account of them eating bugs or whatever. That’s not how I’m choosing to play this article. I assure you, if I want to mock Uzbekistan, I will straight-up write an article called "Uzbekistan is Very Unpleasant, and Everyone There Has Hairy Knuckles." I do not need to bring their cuisine into it. This isn’t necessarily a gross-out article, either. It is, instead, a list of unconventional but intriguing dishes from around the world...
by Bryan A. Bybee & Barnaby Bandini
Local industry news and events...
Featuring Belle Devereux from Hawthorne Strip...
by Hannah One Cup
There’s a lot of things I thought I’d be doing on Halloween, but I can honestly say that I never expected a morgue to be in the cards. What’s funny is that I was just making fun of the sign for Georgetown Morgue here in Seattle, and how I thought it was an extremely inappropriate sign for a morgue (two soles of the feet with "Georgetown Morgue" in the middle of them).
I now know that it’s not an actual morgue, unfortunately, but also, more unfortunately for me, this isn’t the morgue I ended up in. No, sir, I ended up in the real deal. Less haunted, more sterile, the lighting sucks, people suck, greeting service sucks. But, whatever, I can at least forewarn you guys, so you can attempt to steer clear of the Big Time. I mean, you should totally have fun, but maybe try not to accomplish as much as I had that night...
