Exotic Magazine - Issue 345
Volume 30 - Number 5 (November 2022)
by Blazer Sparrow
In this late-stage capitalist hellscape we’ve all been sorta just existing in as it slowly and unceremoniously kills us, we seem to find solace in the smallest things. We are making up random bullshit holidays, traditions, ceremonies, or the evolved form of all three—memes—to stay sane. The internet has definitely helped to amplify these fairly meaningless gestures, connecting the disaffected peasants across the world to eat Tide Pods and boil chicken in Nyquil. Frankly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Let the youth have as much fun as they can as the world crumbles around them. It’s not like anyone under the age of forty will ever be able to buy a house. Let them eat Tide Pods! At least they stack dishes when they’re done eating at a restaurant...
by Esmeralda Rupp-Spangle
In the rightfully lauded 2011 video game Portal 2, the player at one point encounters a deranged robot sphere known as the "Fact Core," which dispenses entirely true facts ("An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain."), near truths ("Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis."), entire falsehoods ("In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning."), and something one might call a mixed bag. My favorite of these was always "Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity." In fact, of course, Marie Curie only invented the dying of radioactivity part. It occurred to me though that there was a whole period of time we, in our modern hustle and bustle, have forgotten about. A wild west of magical realism, where radioactivity wasn’t maligned or feared but instead heralded as anything from a patriotic path to victory, a miracle tonic, a gateway to a futuristic society, and much more. Today, I’d like to reflect on some of the more extraordinary ways we threw caution to the four winds in favor of curiosity, daring-do (read: stupidity), or just plain profit-mongering...
by Atticus Rexx
Glory holes. You may or may not have heard the term. Often featured in straight porn, it involves two people and two rooms that are connected by a small hole. The hole is for exactly what you think it’s for, to put your dick through. The main appeal of a glory hole is not knowing who is on the other side, but usually, it’s a mouth, and sometimes it’s another hole. Some people never even meet the person on the other side, but that is part of the kink...
by Wombstretcha
Everyone who matters has a job. Big or small, from CEO or world leader to burger flipper or horse stall cleaner. Jobs are, of course, the result of us engaging in the societal premise that one must sink or swim to accommodate ourselves, and we do this by offering our skills and labor to those willing to pay for it. Not a tough concept; we all know it. But there are some jobs that suck far more ass than others, and I’m going to list off some of the most hazardous or disgusting professions I can find.
The things we do to get by in the world are often tragic, dangerous, hilarious, or tragically dangerous and hilarious.
Listed in no particular ranked order...
by Bryan A. Bybee & Barnaby Bandini
Local industry news and events...
Featuring Lexi from Dream On Saloon...
photos by Hypnox
Photos from the first two rounds...
presented by DJ Dick Hennessy
The latest breast contest from DJ Dick Hennessy...
by Hannah One Cup
This last month I was granted two weeks’ vacation or something from my current job. I say granted, but they decided to put two weeks of vacation on my calendar, whether I wanted it or not, due to constantly and consistently threatening to quit in a joking manner. It’s gotten to the point where no one can tell if I’m joking or not, including myself.
So, a vacation for two weeks is not something I’ve had the adult luxury of ever in my entire life. That is unless you count being unemployed for a few months, which I don’t count as a vacation (selling plasma and shopping at the food bank aren’t really what I’d compare to happy, fun times at a pool). My partner just so happened to be working in New York for a month, so we decided to fly me out when they were finished working and road-trip back to Oregon. This article is a bit of what occurred on this road trip and a couple of places you should try to visit.
**Please note that out of this entire trip, the most draining state to be in, whose scenery actually lulled me to sleep, was Ohio. There won’t be much to talk about there...
