Since the new year is on the horizon, I didn’t want 2022 to end without doing some real investigative journalism and offering up some actually useful information for a change. So listen up, all you wannabe strip club aficionados—class is in session!
If you’ve ever wondered what strippers hate the most but may not tell you in fear of lost tips, I’ve got you covered. Even if you haven’t pondered it, I’ve still got you covered. It might just save you from looking like a d-bag (I mean...probably not, but it certainly won’t hurt)!
Without further ado, I bestow upon you... Top 10 Things Strippers Loathe:
1. A Cheap Charlie — You had to know this was at the top of the list. Don’t come to the club with $7 in singles and stay all night—or worse yet, sit at the rack without tipping! Instant d-bag status!
2. An Uncle Touchy — No one likes Uncle Touchy. Especially strippers who aren’t even related to you. Hands off the asses, bruh...
3. A Richie Rich — So you say you have a lot of money? Cool story, bro! Protip: tip like you’re rich versus the verbal boast. It’ll go a lot further.
4. A Chatty Chuck — Too much talking makes it weird, dude. If you want to talk, call your mommy.
5. A Smelly Kelly — It’s sad that I even need to list this. Yet, it was one of the more common gripes I heard from numerous entertainers. Take a fucking shower before hittin’ the club. Good grief!
6. A Bill-Throwing Bob — Please stop wadding the bills and trying to aim for pussy, ass, or mouth. Money’s already dirty as fuck...especially when it’s coming from your sweaty-ass mitts.
7. A Conservative Cassie — Leave your jealous-ass girlfriend or wife at home. Only Fun, drama-free women are wanted!
8. A Photo-Snapping Freddy — Surprise, surprise... There are still asshats that think it’s okay to pull out their phone and take photos of stage sets. Do it and get tossed. Hopefully on your head!
9. A Sleepy Joe — There’s no better way to insult an entertainer than falling asleep during her performance. It ranks right up there with staring and not tipping. It’s also a great way to get booted!
10. A Stank Breath Seth — More hygiene common sense. Brush your teeth. Chew a mint. But most of all, stop blowing in your favorite stripper’s ear. She fucking hates that shit, and it’s creepy as fuck!
There you have it! Don’t be these people, and you’ll be loved by every industry entertainer. Thank me later, fammo!
Now that you know how to act right let’s practice your newfound strip club decorum at the many events happening throughout this month...
Let’s start at Guilty Pleasures on Saturday, December 10, for David and Jocelyn’s Bachelor and Bachelorette Party. You don’t know David or Jocelyn, you say? That’s no excuse! They’re getting married, the party is on, and it’s as good an excuse as any to get your drink on!
Then, on Thursday, December 15, roll through The Lounge for their Champagne & Diamonds Party. Grab a bite while you’re there; they have some great food at some even better pricing!
Fast forward to Sunday, December 18, and it’s ugly sweater time... Not one, but two sweater parties this year. One is at Devils Point, and one is at Stars Cabaret in Salem. Bring your best mustache game to the Devils Point party because there’s $1,000 in cash and prizes on the line. Do it big.
Moving along to Friday, December 23, Stars Cabaret is throwing a sexy lingerie party at their Bridgeport location. Women wearing their favorite lingerie and men wearing their favorite pajamas get in for free! I’m guessing women wearing pajamas can also get in free, but for men wearing lingerie, your mileage may vary...
We’re almost there! Bring 2022 to an end in style with a special New Year’s Eve champagne toast at midnight at Cabaret, Guilty Pleasures, and Cheetahs in Salem (alcohol-free at Cheetahs, of course)! There’s no better way to ring in the New Year than with sexy strippers, champagne, and good friends (and yes, in that order...).
You folks know the drill by now...at the time we sent this issue to press, the finals hadn’t happened yet. But fear not; we will have full coverage of the finals in our January 2023 issue! Until then, check out the photo coverage from qualifying rounds three through seven on page 16.
And with that, we’d like to congratulate our qualifying finalists from rounds three to seven:
Round 3: Raven Lynx from Kit Kat Club & X Exotic Lounge, Pink Marie from Casa Diablo, and Passion from Guilty Pleasures.
Round 4: Amara from Stars Cabaret (Salem), Nike from Hawthorne Strip, Sunshine from Reveal Lounge, and Carmen Sinclair from Beanie’s Bikini Barista.
Round 5: Maria Knox from Lucid Dreams, Dyme from Dream On Saloon, and Alla from Hawthorne Strip.
Round 6: Lexi from Sassy’s, Dylan from Stars Cabaret (Bridgeport), and Nia from Golden Dragon.
Round 7: Chyna from Cabaret, Nina from Cabaret, and Integrity from X Exotic Lounge.
That’s all for now, my loyal industry denizens. May the New Year bring you happiness, peace, and prosperity—lots of prosperity... Which you can use to tip strippers and see boobs.
Support your local businesses, including every industry business within these pages.
IG: @Exotic_Mag
Twitter: @ExoticMag
FB: Xoticmag
Email: Info@Xmag.com
503.241.4317
SUN 04—DANTE’S—SINFERNO CABARET
SAT 10—GUILTY PLEASURES—DAVID & JOCELYN’S BACHELOR & BACHELORETTE PARTY
SAT 10—DANTE’S—TWERK DU SOLEIL
SUN 11—DANTE’S—NAUGHTY NUT CRACKER + SINFERNO CABARET
THU 15—THE LOUNGE—CHAMPAGNE & DIAMONDS PARTY
SUN 18—DEVILS POINT—BAD CHRISTMAS SWEATER & MUSTACHE PARTY
SUN 18—STARS CABARET (SALEM)—UGLY SWEATER PARTY
SUN 18—DANTE’S—EL GORDO + SINFERNO CABARET
FRI 23—STARS CABARET (BRIDGEPORT)—SEXY LINGERIE PARTY
SAT 31—NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTIES:
CABARET, CHEETAHS (SALEM), GUILTY PLEASURES
DAILY—CABARET—HAPPY HOUR—2PM-6PM
DAILY—COLUMBIA STRIP—HAPPY HOUR—4PM-7PM
DAILY—DEVILS POINT—HAPPY HOUR—3PM-6PM
DAILY—Dv8—HAPPY HOUR—NOON-3PM
DAILY—LUCKY DEVIL—HAPPY HOUR—3PM-6PM
