We all know what’s ruining this city— and, particularly, the music scene: all the goddamn transplants! It’s obvious what makes Portland the magical and unique place we know and love are all the people born and raised here, who never left. They’re the glue that holds this Hipsters’ Paradise together. The previous, heroin-drenched utopia of the ‘90s is quickly coming apart, with all these Californians, Washingtonians and Alaskans driving up the rent and crowding our bars. People really need to stop moving here, especially in the art scene. All the true Portland artists aren’t getting recognized, because these outsiders are tainting the true Portland spirit.
Oh, except none of that is true—at all.
Portland’s two most famous writers, Katherine Dunn and Chuck Palahniuk, don’t even hail from Oregon. The late, great Dunn is from Kansas and Palahniuk grew up in podunk Washington. Ursula K. Le Guin is one of those dirty Californians you harp on so much. Ken Kesey, perhaps the patron saint of Oregon writers, is from fucking Colorado.
But, this isn’t a writing column, this is a music column—and, Portland’s music scene is a troubling snafu that I’ve been spending the last year bitching about, particularly because of all the bitching within. The number one complaint I’ve noticed from this incestuous in-crowd of "native" Portland artists is about all these outsiders. But, what is the "real" Portland music scene, other than a bunch of outsiders?
I think it’s well-known that Modest Mouse started in Issaquah, Washington. Seattle claims them as their own, but they are essentially a Portland band, if not the quintessential Portland band. Nothin’ but a bunch of dirty transplants! The Decemberists started as a band from Portland, but most of their members are from the Midwest. Bunch of outsiders coming into Portland to crowd the scene and trying to "make it" here, mucking it up for the true Oregonians! Catch my drift? Below is a short list of Portland’s more famous "local" heroes, who aren’t even from the goddamn state.
I feel like poor Carrie has been ostracized by "true" Portlanders, for bringing Fred Armisen and crew to town for eight years, helping drive up rent and attract tourists. But, unless you’re an asshole, it’s hard to pretend she was not an integral part of Portland’s music scene in the ‘90s, who still serves as the aesthetic template for electric, female singer-songwriters in the Pacific Northwest. Not even from Oregon. Born in Seattle, raised in Redmond and started Sleater-Kinney in Olympia. The band did move to Portland early in their career, in a move that snobby natives would hate them for today.
Dead Moon is the only Portland band where it’s illegal to make fun of them in public here. I can’t think of a more "authentic" Portland band. It’s the band where you wear one of their T-shirts, to show that you’re into the "real" Portland scene (not that Portlandia bullshit). Yet, Fred Cole was not only born in Washington, but started his music career in Las Vegas! He ended up in Portland by accident and met Toody (who is a Portland native), to form every true Portlander’s favorite band. Still, he basically started as one of those transients you look down on.
In-arguably the crown prince of the Portland music scene, this tragic and talented lad was not only born in a flyover state, but spent his childhood in Texas. Granted, he spent his teen and formative years in Portland, but he wouldn’t be going around bragging about how he was born and raised in Portland—because he wasn’t. Also, like any artist with half a brain, he got the fuck out, to L.A., as soon as it looked like he could make a career with music. Sorry-not-sorry, Portland.
I wanted a more contemporary artist and Mr. Craft is probably the youngest example of a rising Portland star. With a Sub Pop record deal and the mentorship of Chris Funk from The Decemberists, phrases like "the next Elliott Smith" could easily be thrown around. Unfortunately, the glammy folk star is just another dirty transplant—born and raised in non-New Orleans, Louisiana. Also, Kyle first moved to Austin, Texas to pursue a music career. It wasn’t until after that fizzled out that he tried again in Portland, finally striking gold. Another contamination in the true Portland sound.
Thanks to Zach Braff, we all know this band and they are perhaps the most Portland-y sounding band of all time. I’ll see groups today at Rontoms that still try to sound like these guys. Not only are the individual members not Oregonians (James Mercer is actually from Hawaii), but the band started and spent their formative years in New Mexico. Granted, a Sub Pop deal and recommendation from Modest Mouse’s Isaac Brock brought them to Portland before Garden State fame, but this is still just another example of dirty foreigners takin’ our music jobs.
The point is, New York City isn’t New York City because of all the New Yorkers. It’s the cultural leader of the world, because of all the European immigrants that moved there from the 19th and early 20th centuries. Musically speaking, all those legendary bands that cut their teeth at CBGBs were formed by out-oftowners, and sometimes, out-of-countriers (i.e., The Police). Cool cities aren’t cool because of all the people born and raised there—artists move to these cities for a reason. They want to express themselves in an open and accepting environment. You create a scene, get new sounds and get on the map by being a melting pot (sorry for the horrendously overused term). Although the music scene here is dysfunctional and not quite sustainable. Yet, there’s still something attractive about it. The main reason it’s here is because musicians and artists keep coming here. So, quit being insufferable assholes to them, you entitled natives.
Also, the rent is mostly going up because of all the techies moving in. Go home, Apple!
