It’s April, which means that all the normies who "haven’t smoked since the ’70s and can’t wait to try some of that fancy, legal weed" will be acting like idiots, all the way up until (and including) the 4/20 holiday. Thanks to legalization, April 20 is the new St. Paddy’s Day—swap the green hats for white guy dreadlocks and tie-dye shirts. So, us real stoners, who appreciate keeping things underground, countercultural and illegal, well...we’re taking things up a notch or two, obviously. No, I’m not talking about 99.9% THC dabs or smoking an entire carton of pre-rolls—I’m saying it’s time to crossfade! That’s right, did you know that mixing drugs results in new and interesting effects, that cannot be obtained on their own? Think of it like a miniature chemistry lab in your lungs and/or liver, ready for you, the mad scientist, to partake in your experiments.
If you plan on mixing weed with other drugs for this year’s 4/20 celebration, here’s how you should go about doing so...
Weed and alcohol have a weird relationship—depending on how they mix, it can result in an extremely awesome time or a complete nightmare. In fact, that’s actually a pretty standard relationship, now that I think about it. Anyhow, you know that old "liquor before beer, in the clear; beer before liquor, never sicker" mantra? Well, it’s true in the case of alcohol—it’s always a good idea to start with the most powerful substance, before introducing a lesser one. But, the opposite is true with weed and booze. As a general rule (and regardless of method of delivery), it’s a good idea to start with THC, let it kick in and then go out for drinks. Your alcohol consumption will likely be put in check (in a good way) by the fact that you’re a bit mellowed out already—more concerned with seeing a food menu than asking what the bar has on tap. On the other hand, if, after a long night of drinking, you decide to top it off with some blunts and edibles, expect to get the spins pretty quickly. Alcohol hits much faster than weed, too So, perhaps that’s why it’s a good rule to remember, "weed before sauce is always awesomeness; sauce before weed will make you vomit shit."
Again noting that the order in which you ingest your substances is of utmost importance, keep in mind that cocaine is a horrible drug that makes people feel self-important, smug and talkative. You’d think that Portland was full of cokeheads, but, in reality, we’re just self-important, smug and talkative by nature. But, trust me when I say this: Portlanders get even worse with cocaine. Now, with that said, let’s talk about the order of operations here. If you’re coked out and need to chill, weed is a perfect drug. It lets you down smoothly, makes you just paranoid enough to question the dumb shit that’s falling out of your mouth, and in some cases, can even help you sleep or eat, after a long night of stuffing coca leaves and baby powder up the nasal passages. However, weed before coke is usually a terrible, terrible idea. With exceptions made for preparation purposes, i.e. long-ass music festivals that will undoubtedly be full of white drugs (so, why the hell not blaze up in the parking lot beforehand, eh?), if you’re high as shit on some good herb and then decide to do a few bumps, you might then find yourself making some seriously bad decisions. This is how Tuesday night trips to Vegas happen. Coke also destroys creativity, because every idea on cocaine is a good idea. So, let’s say you smoke weed to produce music, write, draw or whatever it is you do, adding cocaine to the mix will only make you convinced that your awful idea is a good one. If you don’t believe me, read anything I wrote for this magazine between 2007 and 2009.
Hallucinogens are best ingested while sober and immediately followed by a heavy dose of indica-dominant weed, to ease the departure process onto the interplanetary plane. Hybrids are good, of course, because you don’t want to be knocked out during your trip. However, avoid pure sativas or sativa-dominant hybrids, as the mental high is going to take care of itself. Eating while high on hallucinogens (especially mushrooms) is important and weed will help you remember to do this. Keep a few joints rolled up for later, as well, because a "bad trip" can easily be toned down with a nice indica that hits quickly—you don’t want to be looking for the pipe, lighter and nug jar while trying to duck and doge those weird DMT elves that always show up uninvited after years of tripping balls. For a slap-you-in-the-face-and-tell-your-ass-to-sit-down strain, I, personally, prefer Dogwalker OG from HQ Farms (and, yes, I’m speaking as a customer—I don’t know the growers or the distributors, but this shit is fucking fire and I’ll continue to plug you guys, if you hit me up with some samples...my email is Ray@Xmag.com).
Much like a few hits of LSD might accidentally result in you forgetting to eat for a few hours, if you ignore hydration during a molly trip, you might actually fucking die. Thankfully, most of the health issues involved with club drugs are due to lack of hydration (seriously, though—your body expels exponentially more fluids while on molly than it takes in, which can turn your brain into a potato after years of clubbing). This is why weed is downright essential, if you don’t want to end up E-tarded and still going to raves in your 30s. Cannabis makes you thirsty, molly makes the shitty EDM you paid $350 to hear a DJ spin sound good. Everyone wins.
Fuck everything that falls into this category. Cannabis should be a replacement for anything prescribed by a doctor or endorsed by alternative music from the ’90s.
This is tricky, because being dizzy is part of what makes lean so much fun, but the codeine is a bit too strong if mixed with a heavy indica. Oh, and don’t even think about trying to mix edibles with lean, because that’s a one-way trip to "Where The Fuck Am I?" Land. But, if that’s your thing, go for it. It’s recommended that, like alcohol, cannabis is consumed before lean. However, if you’re the type of person to drink a ghetto cocktail that was made famous by a genre of music called "Chopped And Screwed," I doubt you’re looking to crossfade this particular duo before an important meeting or a drive to pick up the kids from school. Recommended album: When The Smoke Clears by Three 6 Mafia.
