Getting drunk and leaving things behind in a bar go hand-in-hand. Most people wake up the day after, check all their things and feel like they won a prize—breathing a massive sigh of relief that they somehow made it home with all of their personal effects. You may have a horrendous hangover, but you somehow remembered to close out. Usually, you didn’t. You look for your scarf or that beloved water bottle and realize it’s not there and that you must have left it somewhere. Where, though? You were at four different bars last night...at least, four that you remember. Now, you have to decide, how much do you love that item? Are you willing to call every bar to try and locate it, get back to that bar and retrieve it?...
Listen up, kids. It’s time for uncle Ray to tell you all the truth about drugs. Some of what I’m about to say here may sound "un-cool" or "lame," but I’m an old man and I’ve been around the block several times. So, pay attention and learn some shit, you degenerate children...
When we think of drugs, we often think of the illicit. But, a drug is, by its very definition, "a medicine or other substance, which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body." It’s true, that some drugs are more fun than others. Remember that shameful time in middle school, when you tried snorting powdered Advil? No? Was that just us? Regardless, they all have their place. We’ve cashed in all our favors with friends in pharmaceutical development and marketing this month (it’s just one guy named Toby—we bought him a six pack and a pizza to butter him up), to get the inside scoop on what upcoming medicationally marvelous things we can expect in the next few years. Here’s what he had to say....
I am proposing that identity politics—both of the left-leaning and the alt-right-or-whatnot variety—are not only erroneous when practiced by any side, but virtually identical in nature. Beyond the history of sharing the exact same arguments against, say, certain types of movies, video games and music, if stripped down to their basic components, i.e. personality defects, Racist Robby and Woke Wendy share more in common than not. Don’t believe me? Here are five things that cultists on both sides of the identity politics aisle share in common...
When that filthy Nazarene cried out to Heaven, he wasn’t inquiring after Yaweh Sabaoth (a war god), whether he’d been simply forgotten about, hanging up there on that Roman cross, for so many hours in the Judean heat—rather, as churchgoers and Stones fans know, he was calling into question the entirety of his own belief system...
PornHub, the world’s premier pornographic website, receives over 100 million hits per day as of the end of 2018. They log and aggregate all the searches on their site and feature over 120 years—in length—of video content. The most popular searches tend to be boring and predictable, as most people are boring and predictable, even when they’re alone, the shades are pulled and the pants are down. However, the *least* popular searches tend to be far more interesting. So, let’s have a look at them and see what the least of us do with their "alone time."...
In what I don’t want to say was a long time ago, in a place that feels like far, far away, I was once a terrible, terrible drug dealer. I lived near the border and there was a place just across it, that would sell me beer and crappy food, for a price that was so low that I couldn’t believe.
I was a broke-ass college student, just 19 at the time. But, 19 meant beer was legal. Strip clubs, too. Everything legal in Canada was open to me...what more did I need?...
It’s April, which means that all the normies who "haven’t smoked since the ’70s and can’t wait to try some of that fancy, legal weed" will be acting like idiots, all the way up until (and including) the 4/20 holiday. Thanks to legalization, April 20 is the new St. Paddy’s Day—swap the green hats for white guy dreadlocks and tie-dye shirts. So, us real stoners, who appreciate keeping things underground, countercultural and illegal, well...we’re taking things up a notch or two, obviously...
A husky dude drinks a double "sex on the beach" cocktail at the far end of the U-shaped bar—he’s one of three customers in the small strip club. He hides in the back corner, but his spotless white sneakers glow in the black light and draw attention to him....
