by Blazer Sparrow
Going through my files, I realize this is my fifth Halloween-themed piece for Exotic. You’re welcome in advance for all of the solid gold content I’ve delivered without interruption. If you think my outlandish suggestions over the years for fun-filled Halloween high jinks have been nothing but satire not to be taken literally, you, sir or ma’am, are reading the wrong nudie mag. The boobs in these pages are for entertainment, but the writing is hard-hitting journalism and academia that should absolutely be taken seriously. Do you know the sheer number of minutes Wombstretcha the Magnificent pours into researching his pieces?! Minutes upon minutes on Wikipedia...
by Esmeralda Rupp-Spangle
Boy, we sure have been having a fun decade so far, haven’t we? Fires, pandemics (plural, oh boy!), war, inflation, Betty White dying, bizarre political upheaval and instability, environmental collapse, the erosion of human rights, drought, flooding, Jared Leto getting his own superhero movie—the list goes on. It’s been...a challenging time for all of us. However, something that can be incredibly cathartic during these times of travail and suffering is to reflect on how much worse it really could be—and believe it or not—it sure could be a lot worse.
On that note, here is a wildly incomplete breakdown of some of the times and places on earth it would suck way, way worse to be than the here and now...
by Hannah One Cup
It is October. Much like the fictional character Dwight Schrute from The Office, I am just stating a fact. It is that time of year when you purposely go into houses that claim to have murderous ghosts in them, just for fun. You might choose to wear your sluttiest Peanuts character outfit this month or purchase all of the pumpkin spice creamer the store has. (You know who you are; I watched you do it, lady. Big Karen move on your part.)
...
by Wombstretcha
Since it is Halloween season, I am going to touch on something frightening, though not "monsters and murderers" kind of frightening. I have a special interest in food and cooking, and we will be discussing monsters indeed, but they are of a different kind than the ones that slaughter teenagers camping in the woods.
Those monsters: horrifying, disgusting foods.
I know you’re thinking, "what makes a food horrifying and disgusting?"
After all, many people across the world eat many different things, and some folks eat things that we in the USA would think unconventional (or just plain nasty) as part of their daily lives. Hell, some people here eat Burger King.
To plumb the depths of disgust and horror, I will try to make sure that the problems with the food are due to their nature. I wish to pursue this topic without undue prejudice. I won’t just be making fun of things because "haha, people in other countries eat weird shit." No, the items I describe will be objectively terrible from the standpoint of what is in them or how they are made.
Anyhow, enough bullshit—on to the list...
by Bryan A. Bybee & Barnaby Bandini
Local industry news and events...
Featuring Morena from X Exotic Lounge...
presented by DJ Dick Hennessy
The latest haunted adventure from DJ Dick Hennessy...
