Exotic Magazine - Issue 351
Volume 30 - Number 11 (May 2023)
by Blazer Sparrow
The short answer is no. But what sucks is it’s happening whether we need it or not. Unlike the three waves of ska—which were not only necessary but inevitable—the three waves of emo, to date, are a bit harder to parse out and sadly reveal a tragic, full collapse (sorry, I had to) of the American Empire as a whole. Also...unlike the three waves of ska, which actually had huge generational gaps, and with each wave signifying a rediscovery and reinterpretation, the waves of emo are actually more like one slow-burn, catastrophic tsunami, which crested and made landfall in every white American suburb in the mid-2000s. This bubbling fourth wave that’s coming, whether we are ready for it or not, is more of a literal second wave, since there’s that generational gap and rediscovery process. Since there is no stopping this follow-up tsunami, we might as well prepare for it, and you, the reader, might as well learn how we got here...
by Esmeralda Rupp-Spangle
As warned in part one, my friends, we have barely scraped the surface of the power of our animal cousins’ abilities to masquerade as something they’re definitely not...bird poo, rocks, etc.
Here, now, is a further list of near-unbelievable and peculiar transformations that animals can pull off and do for fun, profit, or even sexy time...
by Hannah One Cup
So, this year has been...continuing, which I suppose is all we can ask of a year nowadays; just continue, keep doing whatever it is you’re doing, and make us a year older. We don’t ask for much other than to not be worse than the year before. But what happens when it can’t even do the one thing you ask it to do? What are you supposed to do when you’re not even halfway through the year and now feeling permanently blinded by the continuous onslaught of lemons life keeps squeezing directly into your already bloodshot eyes?
You keep going. That’s what you do. You soldier on, like the dog feces you just stepped in doesn’t exist, and you don’t even care about the smell because, at this point, you don’t care what anyone around you thinks. You’re basically just fighting to survive, so screw everyone else and their problems—especially if it has to do with something you did or smell like...
by Wombstretcha
Alcohol. Mankind has had a relationship with it forever. The earliest known historical record of a deliberately made drink, a sort of wine, was from China in around the year 7000 B.C. It’s also a well-known fact that beer was important to the ancient Egyptians, as many tombs had jars of beer in them, and it’s described as being part of the daily ration for those who were building the pyramids.
Our relationship with the sauce may go back even further than ancient China or Egypt. Humans, as a species, are rare among creatures for our ability to metabolize alcohol, but our close relatives in the ape family, chimps, bonobos, and gorillas*, also share this ability. It has been suggested that our pre-human ancestors did, too...
by Atticus Rexx
Photos from the first three rounds...
by Bryan A. Bybee & Barnaby Bandini
Local industry news and events...
Featuring Simone from The Lounge...
