So, here is a little peak behind the curtain, dear reader. Yours truly isn’t only the preeminent adult magazine music journalist in the Pacific Northwest, but I also actually dabble in some of the performing arts myself. Think not of me as the crossed-arm critic in the back of the club, complaining about how the kids on stage aren’t playing real hardcore because they’re wearing Fred Perry, not Lonsdale shirts. I put my time in the trenches. And coming off a small west coast tour, I thought I might share a morsel of wisdom from my travels with those of you dumb enough to try this at home...

We’re in the heart of summer, and it’s time again for our annual family barbecue. Every year it’s the same. Your cousin Joey ends up passed out in the bathroom, Grandpa finds someone to rant about millennials to, and your uncle Steve tries—yet again—to hit on your girlfriend. Why go back? Because your family don’t fuck around when it comes to food. Here’s our best interpretation of what we’re pretty sure the most delectable summer barbecue recipes from our own family’s summer gathering are...

I mentioned in last month’s article that I really enjoy having friendly interactions with my customers. The problem is, I’ve been noticing that a lot of customers lately are doing their level best to make that as difficult as possible. Some of you might be new to strip clubs, and nobody ever explained the rules to you. Others have been going for years and have just gotten way too comfortable with not following those rules. Or you think you’re special, and the rules just don’t apply to you. Whichever case may apply, Exotic magazine has so kindly granted me a city-wide platform (and beyond), so this month and next (I’ve got too much to squish into a single month), I’m gonna use that platform to set all you motherfuckers straight. Let’s dig into how you can behave when you go to a strip club to avoid finding yourself on a bouncer’s bad side—especially mine...

By now, everyone is familiar with the concept of a "bucket list." Following the 2007 movie wherein Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman decide to finish off their lives satisfied, the concept has been established as where you cross off items on a list of all the things you ever wanted to do before you shuffle off this mortal coil. However, a lot of the suggestions people have for what you absolutely must experience tend to be bland or trite. Go see Paris, go pan for gold, go visit Mount Kilimanjaro. Stuff like that. Boring!

I’ve got some ideas for final adventures which will really put some Everclear* in your junior prom punch bowl.

Not ranked in any particular order, but if you can do even one of these, you’ll exit this life as a satisfied person...