Congratulations, Kit Kat! You absolutely killed it! Your theme was quite unique! Tell us why you chose the theme you did, and was it a difficult decision compared to the other themes you considered?
I actually came across the idea while brainstorming with my friend (shout out to Nikki Diesel). We were trying to determine which sets we hadn't seen in past competitions...
It's a commonly held belief that people do not want to be fat.
After all, people go to terrible trouble to not be fat. We go to gyms, try all manner of absurd diets, get surgeries, take drugs that someone sells on late-night TV, and pretty much any goofball thing some celebrity recommends.
But we don't often talk about how toget fat, you know, in case you need to do so in a relative hurry. I'm sure everyone has some notion of how to do this, like eating McDonald's all day or some such, but I have done diligent research, and I'll get you fuckers fat as fast as possible...
Happy New Year! 2025 is upon us, and a lot has happened since we last spoke. And by spoke, I mean me speaking and you listening. As I write this, they just caught the e-bike riding, bullet-engraving, sweet-smiling, beautiful bastard that took out the CEO of one of the biggest health insurance companies in America. Things will probably change by the time this comes out, but my money is on Luigi Mangione being a patsy (his cousin is an active Republican party member). If he does turn out to be the guy, don't expect me to write a correction. We don't do that here at Exotic...
I'm sure we've all heard the old saying: "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." I always wondered if the character Renfield in Bram Stoker's novel Dracula was aware of that particular proverb. But I digress. The meaning of this adage is that you're much more likely to get what you want by not being a huge gaping asshole. Through the course of my security career, I’ve found this to be true. The times I’ve approached a security situation by attempting to connect with somebody and caring about where they’re coming from have almost universally brought about the most satisfying and satisfactory outcomes possible. Let me tell you about a few of those times...
Happy 2025! How are those resolutions working out? Broke it already? Before you chastise yourself too much, let's review some interesting statistics on New Year's resolutions. The average New Year's resolution lasts less than four months. So basically, you were doomed for failure before you even started. To underline that, 80% of people who make resolutions feel confident they can stick to them, but only 20% of people who make them actively keep themselves accountable...
Nostalgia, for me, is generally a feeling mixed between fondness and curiosity. Fondness for something no longer there, for an experience I can no longer achieve with 100% accuracy, and curiosity for why I am nostalgic for this experience and what the hell my elders were thinking when they gave me the item or took me to this place.
I thought I might go through some items that bring me a bit of nostalgia and perhaps do for you, as well. Many of these are experiences we have all shared growing up, some more than others. The rest may very well only be memories I share with those growing up with me or as a family unit. Without further ado, let’s get into some old-timey things that will make you feel even more aged, er, seasoned...
Christmas came and went, and I have to say the theatrical offerings were woefully unerotic. I assumed Gladiator II would have at least one wankable orgy scene. Am I unreasonable for expecting Robert Egger’s turn at remaking Nosferatu would have more gratuitous nudity? Gone are the days of Caligula or even Francis Ford Coppola’s concerningly horny rendition of Dracula. What a terrible time to be a theater masturbator. Has the whole world gone prude? Nudity and fuck scenes are becoming rarer and rarer in normie films. At this rate, I may have to start reviewing only French and Italian films to have anything resembling usable content for this magazine...
Photo recap from the latest rounds of Miss Exotic Oregon...
As always, stay tuned to Erotic City for updates.
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